The Salina Journal from Salina, Kansas on May 14, 1998 · Page 15
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The Salina Journal from Salina, Kansas · Page 15

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Salina, Kansas
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Thursday, May 14, 1998
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Page 15
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THE SALINA JOURNAL TELEVISION THURSDAY, MAY 14, 1998 C3 After nine seasons, Jerry, George, Elaine & Kramer want to leave 'em laughing £7' •^ • £?; *""* "V JERKY'S GIRLS Teri Hatcher (Feb. 25, 1993): Her breasts are "real... and they're spectacular!" Marlee Matlin (Oct. 28,1993): Makes fun of her own deafness as a tennis lineswoman whose faulty lip-reading skills spel| trouble for George. Courteney Cox (March 17, 1994): She gets along just fine with Jerry until they pretend to be married to get a dry-cleaning discount. Janeane Garofalo (May 16, 1996): Jerry falls for her because she's so much like him — she loves cereal! she riffs on life's minutia! — but then realizes that's bad because "I hate myself!" ^ JERRY'S BEST EXCUSES FOR BREAKING UP WTTHAGIRL • She likes Dockers TV commercials. • Her breasts might not be real. • She once dated Newman. • She eats her peas one at a time. 10 OF THE MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENTS ON SEINFELD 1. George's mother "catches" him doing "you know." She then falls over in shock, injures her back, and ends up in the hospital. (Nov. 18,1992) 2. Kramer shoots photo Christmas cards of Elaine; after they're sent out, she discovers that one of her nipples is exposed. (Dec. 16,1992) 3. Jerry scratches his nose just as his girlfriend pulls up next to him at a stoplight; from her vantage point, it looks like a pick. (Dec. 16, 1992) 4. Trying to get to second base with a woman he's dating, George accompanies her to a funeral (according to Kramer, "It's like 10 dates in one shot!") and does well till he "double-dips" a chip and starts a brawl. (Feb. 25, 1993) 5. Agreeing to an inaudible request by Kramer's low-talking girlfriend, Jerry wears the "puffy shirt" on the 'Today" show. Bryant Gumbel mocks him for looking like a pirate. (Sept. 23,1993) 6. After money problems force George to move back in with his parents, he sleeps with a woman in his parents' bed. When they find a condom wrapper, they ground him. (Dec. 9,1993) 7. Kramer passes out under a tanning lamp, darkening his skin on the day he has to meet his African-American girlfriend's family. (March 17,1994) 8. George dates a woman whose mother is convinced that he's a panhandling bum — maybe because he eats an eclair out of the mother's trash and walks out of the bathroom shirtless at a party. (Nov. 3, 1994) 9. Jerry dates a woman whose name he can't recall, although it rhymes with a female body part. ("Aretha? Mulva?") Too late, he recalls it: "Doloresl" (March 18,1993) 10. At a J. Peterman company party, Elaine's dancing earns the mockery of her co-workers; George describes it as "a full-body dry heave set to music." (Oct. 10,1996) KRAMER'S BEST GET-RICH-QUICK SCHEMES The roll-out tie dispenser: With one tug, you can have a new tie that will cover up the stain on the old one. (June 21, 1990) The Beach: A summer cologne that mixes the aroma of summer sand and surf with the scents of tanning oil and frankfurters. (Nov. 15,1992) The Coffee-Table Book: Not only is it about coffee tables, but it has fold-out legs so you can use it as a coffee table! (originated Dec. 9, 1993) The Bro (or Mansierre) : This bra for chesty men helps cover up that slight sag upfront. (Feb. 23, 1995) PB&J's: A restaurant chain that only makes peanut-butter- and-jelly sandwiches. (March 7, 1996) A rickshaw fleet: The drivers? Homeless people. (April 9, 1998) Associated Press Al Yeganeh stands in front of his takeout spot, Soup Kitchen International in New York city. Yeganeh, the curt Manhattan soup chef branded "The Soup Nazi," on "Seinfeld," does not live comfortably with his "Seinfeld" depiction and the accidental celebrity it has brought him. BEST SUPPORTING ACTORS Newman: The pudgy postman is Kramer's pal and Seinfeld's enemy. "Hello, Newman!" The Drake: Everyone loves the Drake — until the Drake fails to return an engagement gift after a break-up. Now we hate the Drake. The Soup Nazi: The irascible restaurateur. Wait your turn and follow the rules — or no soup for you! Get out! A QUIZ ABOUT NOTHING Michael Richards - Kramer, Julia Louis-Dreyfus - Elaine, Jerry Seinfeld - Jerry and Jason Alexander - George Answers on PageA? "Seinfeld," the show that launched a thousand quips, will end Its nine- year run as America's favorite sitcom with its final episode on May 14. As a tribute, we offer a salute-to"Seinfeld" trivia quiz. 1. What is Kramer's mother's first name? a) Cookie b) Bertha c) Cass d) Babs. 2. In the classic "Master of My Domain" episode, George refers to himself as "King of the County" and Elaine calls herself "Queen of the Castle." What does Jerry dub himself? a) Duke of the Domicile b) Lord of the Manor c) Prince of the City d) Potentate of the Poopdeck. 3. In that same show, Jerry is dating a sexually inexperienced woman named Maria, who is played by an actress who has a key role in another popular sitcom. Who is that actress? a) Courteney Cox from "Friends" b) Lisa Kudrow from "Friends" c) Jane Leeves from "Frazier" d) Helen Hunt from "Mad About You." 4. What type of candy does Kramer drop from an operating-room balcony into the body of a patient undergoing surgery below? a) Junior Mint b) Chuckles c) Hershey Kiss d) Peanut Chew. 5. When Jerry and George make a vow of confidentiality to one another, they say that the secret being shared is locked in ... a) 'The inner sanctum." b) 'The vault." c) "Fort Knox." d) 'The dungeon." 6. A Pez dispenser causes trouble at a piano recital. What cartoon character's head is on the dispenser? a) Popeye the Sailor b) Daffy Duck c) Yosemite Sam d) Tweety Bird. 7. What is the real name of the New York restaurant whose exterior is used for Monk's Coffee Shop? a) Tom's b) Dick's c) Harry's d) Elaine's. 8. Elaine volunteers to work with the elderly and is assigned to a woman with a huge goiter who claims to have had a love affair with which historical figure? a) Winston Churchill b) John F. Kennedy c) Benito Mussolini d) Mohandas Gandhi. 9. What was the name of the movie that was mentioned in two episodes and described as "a young woman's strange, erotic journey from Milan to Minsk?" a) "Brigitte On Fire" b) "Michelle, Michelle" c) "Rochelle, Rochelle" d) "Justine, Oh Justine." 10. Kramer tells the Soup Nazi: "You are an artist, you suffer for your soup." The Soup Nazi replies: a) "Next!" b) "And now you will suffer. No soup for you!" c) "You are the only one who understands me." d) "Can you get me Elaine's telephone number?" 11. Elaine borrows a video from Jerry and keeps it for two weeks. Jerry has to pay $35 in late fees. What movie is it? a) "Nashville" (1975) b) "New York, New York" (1977) c) "Havana" (1990) d) "Philadelphia" (1993). 12. When Crazy Joe Davola jumps out of the audience during the taping of Jerry's NBC pilot, he yells "Sic semper tyrannisl" What does it mean? a) 'Thus ever to tyrants!" b) "Death to all comedians!" c) "Here comes your kibosh!" d) "My shorts are on fire!" 13. Jerry's nickname for George is "Biff," after a character from a great play whom George describes as "the biggest loser in the history of American literature." What play is the character from? a) "A Streetcar Named Desire" b) "A Raisin in the Sun" c) "Death of a Salesman" d) 'The Iceman Cometh." 14. Who is Russell Dalrymple? a) George Steinbrenner's assistant b) The president of NBC c) The masseur whose touch made George exclaim, "It moved!" d) The real name of "The Drake." 15. Jerry and George are creating a series for NBC. What is it about? a) Something or other b) This or that c) Everything, anything ... whatever d) Nothing. Tom Frangicetto. New York Times Syndicate

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