TUESDAY, JUNE 27,2006 COMMUNITY THE HAYS DAILY NEWS A5 Take preventative steps to curb sibling abuse, violence This is the fifth of six articles about sibling abuse and sibling violence. Q: How can parents prevent sibling abuse and violence? A: Measures to help children avoid sibling abuse and violence range from general suggestions about how to establish cooperative environments to specific ways to resolve conflict and reduce fights. According to research studies, 26 percent of American families experience some form of violence in their homes. Furthermore, surveys of students revealed that 50 percent of males were hit by their parents when they were adolescents and 40 percent of females, according to the surveyed students. Essentially, parents have to relinquish their own angry and abusive responses to each other and to their children. Parents cannot practice abuse and violence and prevent sibling abuse and violence. Parents can make their homes safer by supporting nonviolence. Guns used for target shooting or hunting should be kept unloaded and locked up so they are not accessible to family members in moments of angry and aggressive impulses. Educating children and helping them avoid drug abuse is another tactic to decrease the chance of violence. When children do get involved with drugs, including alcohol, parents need to be proactive and get the children into drug evaluation and treatment. Supervision and monitoring are two of the most important parental strategies to prevent sibling abuse and violence. The ground rules need to be zero tolerance for physical and verbal abuse. That means, for example, not leaving children unsupervised from after school until a parent arrives home several hours later. In today's families, parents cannot always be there after school, but there are after-school care programs, babysitters, relatives or other resources available for parents. Daycare financial assistance is available from social welfare. Sometimes family members working different hours can share child-care responsibilities. Making time to talk with children on a regular basis is a good idea. That way, there is less opportunity for surprises because parents are not informed about what is going on. Parents need to talk Judy Caprez FAMILY Q&A with children individually. Another parental technique to defuse anger and violence is learning when to intervene and when not to intervene. This decision depends on the ages of the children, their conflict resolution skills and the history of abuse and violence in the sibling relationship. Fundamental to reducing sibling fights and abuse is learning to identify the sources of the conflicts. For example, when children are tired, hungry or bored, they provoke fights. These basic needs can be anticipated and met without too much difficulty. An example of meeting these needs would be parents providing snacks after school and time for play before expecting children to do homework. The need for attention can spawn abusive sibling conflicts, in which case par- ents need to evaluate how to provide more positive attention to the children. At the same time, parents need to ignore minor sibling squabbles and mild conflicts that do not escalate into abuse and violence. When children get into power struggles, they try to see who can influence whom the most. Competition for power is a powerful dynamic in sibling relationships and needs the control of parents. A lot can be said for teaching children to ask directly for the attention that they need. However, if parents invite children to let them know when they need hugs or time alone with their parents, then parents cannot put children off by telling the children they are too tired or too busy to give them attention. Parents also can teach children how to play together when the children are different ages or have different interests. Parents can suggest games, demonstrate different activities and discuss with both siblings what activities would be fun. One of the most helpful strategies to teach siblings is how to arrive at win- win solutions. In this strategy, parents listen to both sides, identify the source 1 of the conflict with the children, think of ways to solve the dilemma, choose an option or plan that fulfills both children's needs and implement that solution. Another proactive responsibility of parents is that of monitoring the media choices of the children. Technology that needs monitoring includes television, video games and the Internet. That responsibility means vigilance by parents, and that takes a lot of time. Furthermore, parents need to talk with their children about inappropriate programs and games. They also need to help children understand how the media overemphasizes violence and how the overrepresentation of violence can affect their perceptions and behavior. • Next week's article will discuss how parents can cope with sibling violence and abuse. Judith Caprez is associate professor and director of social work at Fort Hays State University, Send your questions to her in care of the department of sociology and social work, Rarick Hall, FHSU. Volunteer opportunities The volunteer opportunities listing is compiled with the assistance of Tigers In Service at Fort Hays State University. For more Information or if your nonprofit or charitable organization would like to be listed, call Katie Stucky, director of Tigers In Service, at (785) 6285537 or e-mail Mstucky@fhsu.edu; Web site www.fhsu.edu/tlgerslnservlce. 'Big Brothers Big Sisters: Volunteer to become a Big Brother or Big Sister to a child age 5 to 17. Volunteers also are needed to help with agency activities and office work. Call Jenny or Melissa at (785) 625-6672. Project REACH AmeriCorps: Volunteers needed to tutor children in grades kindergarten through five. Tutoring opportunities are available in Hays, Victoria, Ellis, Plainville and Pawnee Heights. For more information, contact Diane Kaufman at (785)1826-4883,: Partnership': Volunteers needed to mentor and tutor children in ' grades five to nine. Curriculum is based on math, reading and other activities related to literature. For more information, contact Clint Myers at (785) 6285537. Washington Elementary After School Program: Activities include service learning projects, arts and crafts, science experiments and opportunities for students to interact with and learn from each other. Contact Shannon Dinkel or Jennifer Frihauf at (785) 623-2540. YouthFriends: Volunteer one hour per week to spend reading with a child, mentoring a classroom, eating lunch or playing on the playground with a child at their school. For more information, contact Rae Smith at (785) 623-2400. CASA: Court Appointed Special Advocates volunteers are trained and committed adults who have been appointed by a judge to watch over and advocate for a neglected or abused . child's best interests. For more information, contact Edna Hanson at (785) 628-8641. Girl Scouts of Sunflower Council: Troop leaders, older girl advisers, office assistance, program assistants, event organizers and more are needed. Call Monica Legleiter at (785) 625-5671. Alterra Sterling House: Looking for card players to join residents for Monday night pinochle and Thursday night pitch. Bingo and checker players as well as volunteers to just spend time with residents are needed. Volunteers also can assist residents with manicures Tuesday nights. For more information, call Dave at (785) 628-1111. Homestead Nutrition Project: Northwest Kansas Area Agency on Aging is looking for volunteers to help deliver meals to elderly residents who are homebound. Contact Michelle Morgan at (785) 628 : 8824. Meals i live* nt$ls-ttra<__, ^fi^il^aiial^ '•*'* Fc-r'fribre information; contact Pam Blau at (785) 623-2800. CedarView Assisted Living: Play cards, share stories or just spend time with a senior citizen. For more information, contact Kathy at (785) 628-3200. AARP Driver Safety Instructors: Teach a classroom refresher course for motorists age 50 and older. For more information, contact Roy Keller at (785) 743-2957 or log on to www.driver-train ing.org. Foster Grandparent Program: Volunteers age 60 and older needed to help children in need of one-on-one attention, tutoring, encouragement, support and a positive role niodel. For more information, contact Joy Fischer at (785) 628-5809. The Arts and Inspiration Coalition of Ellis County: Volunteer your musical or vocal talent, your spoken words or stories or as a support person. For more information, contact Laura Anne Hess at (785) 6252847. Senior Companion Program: Volunteers age 60 and older needed to provide personal and supportive services to help homebound or institutionalized frail elderly maintain their independence. For more information, contact Marlene Dinkel at (785) 6285809. Ellis Good Samaritan Center: Help deliver meals to community members on weekends at lunchtime. For more information, contact Audrey or Donna at (785) 7263101. Alzheimer's Association: Volunteer to help with music, art or drama. For more information, contact Rhonda Riedel at (785) 6733149. Ellis County Chapter of the American Red Cross: Volunteers Heeded for various committees to help support the local chapter. If you are interested in helping us help others in our com- mttnity,;CpntactiTricia-White at, — "" * Send Community news to The Hays.Daily News, P.O. Box 857, Hays, KS 67601, or e-mail email@example.com. $1.99 sq, ft. wood laminate in stock 15 year wear warranty. Easy for anyone to install. Easy to maintain a beautiful wood-looking floor. Your Local Shaw Carpet Mill Dealer For Your Flooring Needs 722 E. 7th, Hays • 785-625-5977 Westlake On purchases made Hardware Plu$, fitter/vr * eh»ne« to win a pro/iM«/onaJd«*/Jn tee'rs needed to*nelp with grant writing, Web-page maintenance, fundraising, public relations and various other projects. Contact Deb Denning at (785) 432-7837, or log onto www.kan sasnextstep.org. Fort Hays State University's Sternberg Museum of Natural History: Admissions desk, gift shop, exhibit gallery and Discovery Room positions available. For more information, call Theresa Kraisinger, manager of volunteers, at (785) 628-5684. Habitat for Humanity: Volunteers needed for various committees to help build decent, affordable housing in Ellis County. For more information, contact Bill Ring at (785) 726-4647 or Jennie Straight at (785) 628-2254. The Arc of Central Plains: Help out with Special Olympics, life skills, other various activities or in our thrift shop. For more information, contact Gloria Von Feldt at (785) 6286512. Humane Society of the High Plains: Help with fundraising, transportation of animals and other duties as needed. For more information, call (785) 625-5252. Cross Road Pregnancy Care Center: Help with support groups and other classes and •'• • events. Volunteers plso rifeed^c^','' \ to help with fundraising. For more information, call Melinda Ewert at (785) 625-4652 or (785) 625-0985 or log onto www.crossroadpcc.org. Hospice, Palliative Care and Lifeline of Hays Medical 'Center: Volunteers needed to help care for the terminally ill and their families. For more information, contact Myrna Kober at the Hospice office at (785) 623-6200. The Center for Life Experiences: Volunteers needed to develop a Web site for Healing Hearts support group for parents who have lost a child. Students interested in the fine art therapies needed to work with adults. For more information contact Ann Gustad-Leiker at (785) 6252847. The Learning Center of Ellis County: Volunteers needed to help baby-sit children of ESL students. For more information, contact Anita Schlegel at (785) 623-2426. Northwest Kansas Domestic and Sexual Violence Services: Help with the crisis line, fundraising, provide client advo- ' cacy, transportation 6r shelter ' ''' '"' '''''''' Ellis County Historical Society Museum: Volunteers needed to help at yearly events — Pioneer Day (May), Historic Fort Hays Days (September), Midwest Deutsche Oktoberfest (September), and Christmas Open House (December). These are indoor and outdoor events. Or you might wish to volunteer on a weekly basis in the archives department or clerk in the Museum Store. Volunteers needed to help Saturdays from May 27 to Aug. 26. For more information, call (785) 628-2624. Compeer Program: Get matched one-to-one with a mental health client. For more information, call Rhonda Meyerhoff at (785) 6252400. Hays Public Library: Adult literacy tutoring and English as a Second Language volunteers needed. \h<puse;S' r .~- p -. , , For more Information, 9ontact Donna Muhsch at (7855 625-3055. HEART Program: Help out those traveling through Hays with any problems. For more information, contact Pam Blau at (785) 623-2800. ..,-..f,, ,. , Kim Heron at (785) 625-9014. Civil Air Pati-ql: Assist' jn«"t' times of disaster, search and rescue and homeland security. For more information, call Lt. Col. Errol Wuertz, commander of the Hays Flight at (785) 6252128 or (785) 628-3124. and we're celebrating! See Thursday's paper for fun GALORE! Today is Tuesday, June 27, the 178th day of 2006. There are 187 days left in the year. Today in History By The Associated Press Today's Highlight in History: On June 27, 1950, President Truman ordered the Air Force and. Navy into the Korean conflict following a call from the U.N. Security Council for member nations to help South Korea repel an invasion from the North. On this date: In 1893, the New York stock market crashed. In 1957, more than 500 people were killed when Hurricane Audrey slammed through coastal Louisiana and Texas. In 1969, patrons at the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in New York's Greenwich Village, clashed with police in an incident considered the birth of the gay rights movement. In 1980, President Carter signed legislation reviving draft registration. In 1991, Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall, the first black to sit on the nation's highest court, announced his retirement. Ten years ago: A Dallas police officer was charged with trying to hire a hit man to kill football star Michael Irvin. (Johnnie Hernandez later pleaded guilty to solicitation of capital murder. He was sentenced to serve two concurrent six-year prison terms, and was paroled in 1998.) Five years ago: The United Nations concluded a three- day summit on HIV/AIDS after adopting a blueprint which set tough targets for reducing infection rates and called for protecting the rights of infected people. Actor Jack Leminon died in Los Angeles at age 76. One year ago: BTK serial killer Dennis Rader pleaded guilty to 10 murders that spread fear across Wichita, Kan., beginning in the 1970s. (Rader later received multiple life sentences.) Wal-Mart heir John Walton died in a plane crash; he was 58. Today's Birthdays: Former Interior Secretary Bruce Babbitt is 68. Singer- musician Bruce Johnston (The Beach Boys) is 64. Actress Julia Duffy is 55. Actress Isabelle Adjani is 51. Country singer Lorrie Morgan is 47. Actor Brian Drillinger is 46. Actor Yancey Arias is 35. Actor Tobey Maguire is 31. Gospel singer Leigh Nash is 30. Actress Madylin Sweeten is 15. Thought for Today: "It is no simple matter to pause in the midst of one's maturity, when life is full of function, to examine what are the principles which control that functioning." Pearl S. Buck, American author (1892-1973). Newspapers in Education Sponsored By: Newspaper Activity Use newspaper ads and your own research to create a poster outlining what's new. 5 URAL ELEPHONE NEXliCH 877.625 7872 • www.nex-tech.com ATTENTION: THE KANSAS HEARING AID EXPO IS COMING TO HAYS Holiday Inn 3403 Vint Street Hay*, KS Wednesday, June 39 10am - 6pm - (o p «n Mitt) Thursday, June 29 9am * 4pm Call Fot Appointment lo Avoid WaitiiHj 785-823-5110 FREE Hearing Test FREE Video Otoscopy FREE Listening Demo TWO Arlen F. Koerner * September 79, 1940 - June 27, 2005 It's been a long year since you've been gone. The time lias passed in a fog. We somehow made it through each day, missing you so much. There were so many family events where your presence was sadly missed: our oldest daughter's surgery, our youngest daughter's wedding, our oldest grandson's high I school graduation, our youngest grandson pitching his first baseball game (you were the perfect role model) and our 45th wedding anniversary are just a few that come to mind. Kvcn though you weren't here in the physical sensi', we fell your spirit around us. Our hearts ache to see you, hear your laugh, and to hold your hand. We feel an emptiness in our hearts and lives that cannot be filled. We will continue on without you through the loneliness and the tears. You left this world way too young, but we know that Cod only takes the best. We love you so very much. Until we meet again. Love always, Jean Lori, Rod, Cody and Ryan Leah, Chris, Josh, Cheyenne, Tucker Missing You A year's gone by, it won't be the last. How time has flown, it seemed so fast. A tear, a thought, a memory of you. We hold in ourheart, it's all we can do. Taken from our arms, you walk on Heaven's floor, And day by day we miss you even more. Resr easy now, and watch from above. Remember we miss you and send you our love.
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