Garden City Telegram from Garden City, Kansas on May 27, 1971 · Page 4
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Garden City Telegram from Garden City, Kansas · Page 4

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Thursday, May 27, 1971
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editorials PAG14 Garden City Teletfrai Thursday, May 27, 1971 Mostly Tit for Tat Spiro Agnew occasionally draws a bead on the news media, but in most cases his aim is no better than it is off the tee. The newshounds, therefore, are in no physical danger from Spiro, but that cannot be said of the spectators at his golf matches. Still those in the media (that's all of us, printed and electronic) get uptight, even slightly paranoid, about Agnew and late starter Bob Dole. But we shouldn't. Editors and TV and radio commentators themselves fire from the hip and sometimes their aim is more erratic than Spiro's. Secondly, Agnew did not invent criticism of the press, although maybe he would like to take credit because Beat the Press is a popular pastime. It's been going on since Tom Paine upset the powers of -his day and it hasn't missed a beat with any administration known to modern history. Which brings me, somewhat tardily, to Walter Cronkite who suggests there might be a conscious conspiracy in the Nixon administration to discredit news media. Now where did he get that idea? Conspiracy? It's more like fun and games. At least that's our view from ground-level, admittedly less lofty than Brother Cronkite's perch. But, perhaps, Cronkite, as a spokesman for the broadcast media, has more reason for concern than we hi the Fourth Estate. Newspapers are not licensed but broadcasters are and there is the potential for abuse in the power to license. As for attacks on the print media, well, in most cases, it is simply tit for tat. Editors are not known to be bashful about criticizing others. But when criticism of the press becomes simply an administration smokescreen to cloud its own mistakes, that's another matter. That's when we talk back. LAST WEEK we taped the clipping about Ogden Naah's death in the front of our oldest book, "The Face la Familiar." And if your are at all familiar with Ogden Nash poetry, you know that you just can't pick up one of his books and put it down immediately. We browsed awhile and thought how good it is to know that Nash left behind 40 years of delightful lines to be read as needed. * * * ONE WE READ when we are down in the dumps, as the saying goes is Nash's version, of John Milton's "II Penseroso." Nash called his invocation to the goddess Melancholy "So Penser- oso." It begins: "Come, megrims, mollygrubs and collywobbles! Come, gloom that limps and misery that hobbles!" and ends "go, people, feed on kew- pies and soap, And remember, please, that when I mope, I mope!" * *- * WE CAME upon "The Cobra" — "This creature fills its mouth with venom And walks upon its duodenum." And "Common Sense" — "Why did the Lord give us agility If not to evade responsibility?" A part of "Just a Piece of Lettuce and Some Lemon Juice Thank You" — "Though human flesh can be controlled, We're told, by this and that, You canot win: The thin stay thin The fat continue fat." He polished off "The Parent" — "Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, And that's what parents were created for." Among his many reflections is a "Biological" one — "A girl whose cheeks are covered with paint Has an advantage with me over one whose ain't" Some years ago a friend quoted to us Nash's "The Stork" — "From long descriptions I have heard I guess this creature is a bird. I've nothing else of him to say. Except I wish he'd go away." And "Reflections on Ingenuity" — "Here's a good rule of thumb: Too clever is dumb." Also a "Reflection on a Common Misapprehension" — "So many forthright ladies are overjoyed. To think themselves 'hard-boiled when as a matter of fact they are only Freud." Of course one that we have observed many times as a litter-al truth — "The trouble with a kitten is THAT Eventually it becomes a Cat." o ART BUCHWALD WRITES: The Little Old Lady You Help May Be An FBI Agent , I^S-^-M * h £.P° ck '* < " )t " Ws * S"J?w3Ste?"aSdS SLT^S? ZSSS* "S£rt» «» boy -out «. b«—.. Public «,«»,« street, ma'am? said. pay any attention to him. He's 7 years old." , Yes> the boy scout Harrigan was getting exasperated. Several automobiles were -, „ .^, «* ^ M . o, j^Kd*58,r.£s ja.^s^rj; you," the little old lady said, ex- j^^t tending her arm. you catch anybody, you get at FBI merit badge and a per It's tough enough walking ... but suppose they afl run!!P i JACK ANDERSON REPORTS: two started across the street. Then the IMe old lady whispered out of the side of her mouth, "I'm Harrigan, FBL Anything to report?" The boy scout looked surprised. "I beg your pardon, Ma'am?" The little old lady flashed a card in her pocketbook. "I'm Harrigan, FBI, in charge of the boy scout detail. You see anything suspicious in the neighborhood?" "I don't understand," the boy scout said. "Aren't you a little old lady?" "No, dammit," Harrigan said. "If I were a little old lady, I'd be able to cross the street myself. Now tell me everything you know before someone gets suspicious." "I can make some very interesting knots, sir. And I believe I bave my signals flags down pretty good." "I'm not interested in that. Whatf s going on in the neighborhood? Have you heard of any priests or nuns conspiring to kidnap Henry Kissinger?" "I don't know, sir. I'm with the Methodist troop." "Never mind, and watch where you're going or we're going to get run over by a Art . Buchwald is going on in the neighborhood," he said. "I've been playing a lot of Little League baseball, and I have homework to do, and I have to do my good turn each day, so I haven't had too much time to look around," the boy scout said apologetically. - Harrigan said, "I imagine J. Edgar Hoover." "I know, sir. I dream abou it every night. • We're almos! across the street." "Keep holding onto my aim Does the name Hale Boggs mean anything to you?"' ,-'. "No, sir. Should I look bin up in my scout manual?" "Let it go. Okay, we mad it," Harrigan said. And tiien in a loud squeaky voice he add ed, "Thank you very much, young man, for helping a poo IMe old lady." - - ..,.. "Is there anything else I.cai do?" • 7 "Beat it," Harrigan whisper ed. "I have to wait for another boy scout to take- me ..blacker across the street." *ir, § _ HAL BO Tut Remarks That 1 • ' -~f-jfwn.fi Bore Bartenders NEW YORK (AP) - Re- yours." ' ~"£ marks that a bartender gets "The last three rounds wen tired of hearing: for 'the road. What'll we max$ "What do you have to do to this oraie for?" _ • y^; get a drink on the house here— "If you had to get arthrWi, get a ladder and climb up on Alfie, why did you have to get Columnist Pushes College On Ecology in Maryland WASHINGTON—America the support our College of Ecology, was a tacit reference to the beautiful, sadly is becoming fact that Nixon sometimes pays America the blighted. They're still talking In the more attention to his national Our air, once fresh, is be- Middle East about State Secre- security adviser, Henry Kis- commg poisoned. The air tides tary Bill Rogers'a peace mis- singer. pick up exhaust fumes, factory sion. Snapped back Rogers: "You smoke and other foul sub- ,„ . , _ _ are trying to disturb my rela- My associate Joe Spear re- tionship with the President of ports from the Middle East that j^e u^ted States. That is un- Rogers received a friendlier acceptable!" reception in Cairo than in Jer- In contoast( Rogers's visit Anyone planning to blow up the underground heating system in the city?" Harrigan asked. "Not <em - Ttey™ all changed their managed to more in er very taking a Harrisan said uamgan saia, pad and pencd out 'm just worried Bible Thought To "praise" the Lord is to of the •stances. As evidence that we breaithe the emissions from faraway factories, furnaces and tailpipes, scientists have traced radioactive fattout twice around the globe. When the air hangs heavy over our great cities, it can get so acrid that it acts like eye-stinging tear gas. Our streams, once sparkling, are becoming polluted. Many rivers and lakes are now open cesspools. The sewage dumped into OUT waiter, being rich in nutrients, stimulates the growth of algae. As the algao decomposes, it uses up oxygen O Lord, to deli vtr me: 0 Lord, make hatte to help me.—Psalm 40:13. . . Rogers complained privately Jack Anderson with Egyptian 'leaders was both witih in candid. He established a good personal relationship with President Sadat; the Arabs call it "mukhlis" (sincere). Rogers's reception was so cordial in Cairo that some diplomats fear the Arabs might expect more from him than he will be able to deliver. This could leave Sadlait out on a limb, they fear, and set back ---- o- -Garden City Telegram the glass? :, you won't have to tell when we get tell you." Vietnam. I'r you know the Pilgrim about whether I fathers landed where they did out of here in time to catch thi because the Mayflower had run last train home." <. J out of beer? If they had had a "Who's that axe^aced damw few more kegs aboard, they sitting alone at the front of the might bave come ashore on bar, Alfie? Oh, excuse me. I Miami Beach and all died didn't even know you were rich." married." "I'm not asking you to load "There's a fly in my drink, my drink, Alfie, but don't you Alfie. Wouldn't it be cheaper in think you ought to pour at least, the long run to swat them rath- enough to cover the bottom of:er than try to drown them in '*U/< ,rl.i,«c.9»'- . - tViie sihiiff?" .:, this stuff?' Published Dally Bxcept Sunday and Six Holldaya Yearly by The Telegram Publishing Company at 31U N. 7th.. Garden City. Kansas. 67846 Fred Brooks .„, 1« Boy Altaian John Fnzie* — TELEPHONE 370-3232 ed dooirs with key Isiiaeli behind clos- relations more than ever. Department's of a City. $1.94" plus applicable twc. payable to carrier In By carrier In other cities •erviee Is available. $1.50 a month plus applicable sales tax. By mail $15.45 a year Including postage and applicable sales tax. I can whip anybody ait the "Put some milk m it for my bar half my size—or even ulcer and some bourbon in it smaller." for me." "I know you've heard ali my "Ring up my wife, Alfie.and old troubles AMe, but how tell her to get the kids off th« would you like to be the first to sibreet—Daddy's driving home." listen to a couple of my new "I think it's a funny Story, ones?" Maybe you missed the point, "Put this one on the cuff, too, Affie. Pour me another Martini t t n° I1 Garden Alfie, and when my ship comes and I'll tell it to you agato-tMs able sales jn the first talb I'll pay is time slowly and with gestores." Edltoi •m». Ad HftDft|£AY Mantling Edltot Cuyahogan River actually caught fire in July, 1969, and firemen had to put out the river. Even our rain, once pure, is becoming contaminated. The raindrops often form around chemical particles tin the air, 'giving our cities an acid bath. Jet planes, meanwhile, have spewed so much vapor into the atmosphere that some meteorologists believe it has increased the earth's cloud cover. This may he raising the world's rainfall and reducing the sunlight. Since the sun is the source of life, it could be harmful to lower the solar energy reaching the earth. Increasingly, our lungs are agrees with this assessment, clear. The policy of .the "We've been talking cold tur- unclear." key lately," he told Spear. tartly "They know exactly where we CROSSWORD -"My Eugene Sbeffer Member of the Associated Pregi The Associated Press la entitled exclusively to the use for reproduction of all the local news printed news and dispatches. All rienta of The Needle ... Wires attached to sleepers' brains tell Doc that dreams are the cause of tooth grinding. But our theory is that nosey researchers are what make folks grind their teeth. * * * Poking a wire into a snoozer's skull is bound to spoil his dreams about girls and give him nightmares a,bout psychiatrists. \ H that President Nixon might not stand and what we're trying to pubiication'ofVp'edai' listen to Rogers's advice. This do." *? thlB newspaper M we j l ^ aU ^ . . - *1SO r6MX'V6d. BUSINESS MIRROR Corporation Outlook Is Considerably Changed By JOHN CUNIFF wiling to see the new capital- many, but they were weakened AP Business Analyst ists attracted to their way of by their numbers. Their divided NEW YORK (AP) —'In the life because it meant higher strength was no match for con- yefllowied notes on annual meet- prices for their shares. Every- oemitralted wealth. filling with noxious fumes, our ings of a decade ago there may one should be a • shareholder, But People's Capitalism was drinking water is flavored with be read the story of business in they said magnanimously, also a part of the larger forces chemicals, our bodies are ac- tradition. From whence it Business boomed, and so did that were changing American cumulating harmful poisons. came is dear, but where it stocks. And many Americans 'Hie. Pressures were growing on Modern man, for example, has goes is not. did indeed .make it to a new «Q1 institutions, moludirag gov- up to 100 times more lead in There was Uittfte question in -platform' of living standards, ernmeat. And some of the.se his bones than did primitive the minds of corporate officers not by using the old, tested provided the medium for chai- mara. and directors about how they route up the, ladder, but by longing business. Churches The crisis is becoming so were to conduct their annual vaulting there on glamour mutual funds and pension funds critical that we have decided meetings in 1960: Quietly, le- Stocks that quadrupled. were shareowners Government to join the crusade for an en- galy, quicMy, confining re-, B y the middle of the decade was a regulator. ' yironmental clean-up. We have marks to the one main content, «» number of shareholders A few years ago most In- fw ^^/™_™ Ue i^. m a . n ' at " whicih was P™® 5 - was up to 20 million and head- stations neigulairiy voted their ed to 30 mllion before the 60s shares for management. This were over. The activities of year; responding to their mem- busiiness became exposed to an bers and owners, some of them informed public, and they opposed management, although didn't always look nice. rarely successful. Brokers manipulated. UtiM- Management, meanwhle, ap- ties polluted. International peams to have Changed greatly. At such aiEfairs the company's -firms sold to countries which Where it once denounced ef- producits might be on exhibit, were hairdly inspired by demo- fonts aimed alt spreading'corpo. including a mew one that would cratic values. Domestic com- rate responsibility to areas that «...««.«...«.« «««.., w ~~ keep stockn ° 1 diea's inspired with panies discriminated m hirmg. hardly had aniything to do with classes will be -held in the open ™ t>Ul S hlti s olf future profits. A Munitions firms killed. Tech- profits, it now more easily ac- where nature can be studied box lunic!l mi e h 't he served. The raology trampled human values, cepts its plural goals, first hand. Instead of the con- oarers extoifid profits. Then Many annual meetings be- A good business, by today's ventionial sports, students wall ex)m ' e questions. came chaotic aififairs, picketed defmiMion, is not only one that be taught outdoor survival, There were at the time only by youth, turned from their, makes money, but does so boat handling and horse riding, ^ million' or 13 million share- original purposes by demon- while promoting humanitarian The college will 'also open a hoM^ns in *he United States, al- straitors. Small shareholders goals and doing the least of- research center that will irives- though that figure had grown seized the floor and demanded fense to the environment, tigate pollution, name the pol- rapidly from less than 6 million reforms. Officers were insulted, Will it succeed? You wouldn't luters and crusade for reforms, in the early '50s. But share- and older ^shareholders were have thought so in 1967, but Our hope is that it will play holders were still a class, privi- horrified by, the indignities. your outlook brightens when a major role in alerting Ameri- leged by wiealth. ca and goading the government The Scene changed by 1 into doing more to clean up tbe year as more, and more Ame environment. cans built up savin We invite our 45 million read- "People's Capitalism" ' was shareholders badgered manage- This year the annual meet- ers, as their part in preseirv- being sold like patent medicine, ment. Evictions were common, ings were quieter than many ing the fresh air and water "Own a share of American in- Guards patrolled the premises, executives would have guessed, they have always taken for dustry." It was the route to There was little question Ubat Has the spirit gone out of the granted, to fight - pollution, in Vigorous financial health. management sitUl could,have its. critics? Has. business , really their home communities and to The olcltimen* were t/quite way. Stpai shareholclers were changed?^ restaurant 55. Inlet 56. Among 1 57. Agreement 58. Sick 59. Abounding in, conifers 60. German admiral 61. Goddess of retribution. ural wonderland within easy access of the great population Thiea-e were notable ex- centers of the east: Kirkland cefptions to the style. Some Hall College near Eastoh on even chose a campus setting, Maryland's eastern shore. wiiflh the folding chains set be- The trustees have agreed to nearth Hihe elms or under hilow- transform Kirkland Hall, un- ing tents, dter our direction, into a College of Ecology. We hope to offer the finest instruction available about man and his environment. Many of the HORIZONTAL 46. European 1. Uncle • country 4. Display CO. Type 8. Any O f 12. Kimono sash 13. Tropical plant 14. Always 15. Place 16. Facts relating toTJ.S.A. 18. Condensed vapor 20.Witty sayingf 21. Inventory .24. Swedish philanthropist 28. Pertaining to language 32. Part 33. Lyric poem 34. Assistants 36. King of Judah 37. Morsels 39. Edited 41. Oozes 43. Bristle 44. Auditory organ VERTICAL 1. Soaks up 2. Touch end to end 3. Small amount 4. Endurance 5. Noah's son 6. Crude, metal 7. Grub 8. Mathematical instrument 9. Eggs 10. Males 11. Epoch 17. Electrified particle 19. Wing 22. Mix 23.Neap, etal. 25. Vessel v 26. Otherwise 27. Guide ^ 28. Weeps ,>" 29.—— Adama 30. Apportion 31. Yield 35. Gratify - 38. Rapid Answer to yesterday's puzzle. 40. Feline 42. Perched 45. Corded fabrics 47. Operatic melody 48. Gay song .University 50. Headwear -.'• 51. French : friend .. 52. Fish appendage" *" 53. Knock 54. Chill * Avcrace time of fetation: 22 mlnutei. 41 59 22 39 60 23 20 54 m 14 40 36 47 27 49 The immediate reaction of of - you hear hardnosed business- fleers and directors was to use men talk today about the "op- thieir strength. Microphones portuniity" in pollution control were turned off white irate and in rebuilding the cities. IX:U1?BZU CFG koI'C.BiJ PUI U Z Z V CPPBCKP GXFJBU. ' Yesterday's Cryptoquip: PRACTICAL POLITICIAN AF- FROSJTBD IDEALISTS. • ,. " i (© 1971, Kine Features. Syndicate, Inc.) Today's Cryptoqulp clues Z equals O

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