The Indianapolis Star from Indianapolis, Indiana • Page 34

THE INDIANAPOLIS SUNDAY STAR, MARCH 16, 1924. 10 The Fable of the Man Who Threw Applauding the Genius That Devises Redding Bells In Indiana IF CONSTIPATED, SICK, BILIOUS Harmless Laxative for thd Liver and Bowels BY GEORGE ADE Fascinating Rdio Programs BY RING LARDNER Away a Great Career To the Editor: NE night a Complimentary Dinner was given to a Captain of In dustry by some of the Boys who were looking for Orders. They figured they could solidify themselves with, the Main Soueeze if they would put Roses all around him and then pre EYY, friends, we finally got one of these here radios put in the house and all nay friends is giving me the hoarse laugh because when radios first come in style I says not for me because I never had no trouble spending a evening without help and Instead of being a complete flop like we why on a still day when they alp't no Interference, we can all but hear stations In N. Y. city a distance of over 14 miles.

Some of our neighbors that Is also infected with radios are always telling that last night they listened to a line concert from PWX Havana or WFAA Dallas but I figure that these is the same kind of people that savs their SHELBY VILE Announcement was made here of the marriage of Miss Orena Roth, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Charles Roth of and James McGavln Sykes of Shelbyville, a son of Mrs. Agnes Sykes. The marriage took jrlace at the home of the bride's parents and was performed by the Rev.

Mr. Buum, pastor of a Lutheran church. Mr. and Mrs. Bykes have arrived here for a short visit with his mother and later will return to Dayton for residence.

Mr. Sykes aas engaged In the Jewelry business here for several years and is now In that business at Dayton. NOBLES ILL Walter Stewart and Miss Freda Southard, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. H.

E. Southard, were married at the home of the parents of the bride, the ceremony biting read by the Rev. from Newark and Toronto and further and more It Is a standing joke in our cozy little home that whatever we buy is either always out of being served, he began to suck Lozenges and classify his anecdotes and try to appear unconcerned. Hopeless Case. All the time he was simply waiting for the Main Fluff to come up from behind the Chrysanthemums and say, "We have with us this evening." He knew that he was a Dinger, because he remembered how the Magnificent Assemblage at that first stood and cheered him for five minutes.

Therefore, his Voice sounded to him like the Boston Symphony Orchestra playing Rubinstein's Melody In F. Whenever the Victims of a large Dinner given by some Organization eat sent him with a hand-painted Statement on Vellum to the effect that he was one of Nature's Noblemen who never went back on a Friend. This is Old Stuff, but it never failed to get over. If you tell a tight-jawed Millionaire that he is Rich and a Close Buyer, you are not springing any News on him; but if you certify to him that he is a Public Benefactor and a Jolly Good Fellow, you can get under his Hide. 1 He has always wanted to believe that he was Jovial and soft-hearted, I but somehow he could never feel quite sure.

order when we buy It or goes wrong the next day and ain't never the same since. Like for inst. we bought a grandfathers clock which they said was a 8 day clock and would guarantee perfect- time If you wounded It once every 8 days whereas in realty you got to wind It every day and keep kissing It and petting it to make it run at all and when It. does run, why when you want to know what time It is allas you half to do Is call UP central A. H.

Moore, pastor of the First Christian Chih-ch. Fifty guests attended the wedding. And We bought a Dlano that got a baby don't never wake up nights or that they can get 12 miles out of a gallon. However leave them rave and personaly I am satisfied as long; as I can tune In on the Happiness Boys at Newark or maybe catch a few stray sentences from WPAB on Life Amongst the Women Students at State College, Pennsylvania. What amazes me the most In regards to the radio ain't the scientific angle which I don't make no pretense of how do they do it, but the genius displayed by the boys and gals that gets up the programs for knowing Just exactly what the public wants and providing same, in fact It Is getting so bad that a right minded man don't feel like he can afford to leave the house for even 5 minutes a day for the fear they will put over something which he would not of missed it for the world.

Like for example I had to be away WABASH The approaching marriage of Miss Constance DeArmond. promi nent in Wabash social circles, to Malcolm Randall of Philadelphia, hag been announced. A dinner party was given by Miss Elizabeth King in honor of the sung, so we would show It to our friends and tell them about It and they would speak a piece or sing a song into the patent attachment and after they was all through we would turn on the reproducing needle and wait for the result which was genally always absolute silence. But any way my friends kept pestering me und pestering me about this here radio and If you don't want it for yourself think of the kiddles heavens bless their little hearts so I Invested in one whole octave out of tune the 1st. wk.

to say nothing' about all the ivories coming off of the white keys as fast as you touched them so that when our guests insisted on playing a piece we would half to ask them to play It In 8 or 9 sharps or else promise to replace all divots. And we bought one of these attachments to the phonograph which you put on a wax record and sing or talk Into It and It reproduces what you said or Feel fine 1 No grlplns; or lnconven ience follows a gentle liver and bowel hrlde-to-be. A pink and white color cleansing with "Cascarets." Sick Head- ache, Biliousness, Gases, Indigestion, scheme was carried out in the house and table appointments and each guest received on old-fashioned nosegay of flowers. Guests included the members of the Thursday Night Sewing Club. ana all such distress gone by morning.

or Men, women and Children luo from home a few hours the other night In connections with a Get Together boxes, also 3c and Cue sizes, any drug store. Advertisement. Miss DeArmond has been employed os bookkeeper In the accounting depart ment or the service Motors, lor the past four years. She Is a social II IV 1 Meeting or tne seven uara reeK league and when I got back the Mrs. had compelled a list of the following features that had took place In my absents: The Importance of funding the Inter-Allied Debts.

England's Political Situation from the favorite. Mr. Randall, formerly at the Service Motors plant here, Is now employed by the J. G. Brill company.

CROSS-WORD PUZZLE A TEST FOR YOUR WITS Viewpoint of a Defeated Candidate. Haidy Flashlight Battery The Happiness Boys. Klks Banquet Broadcast from the Philadelphia, where the couple will live. Mr. and Mrs.

William Buys of Bronson, announce the marriage of their daughter. Myrma, to Orley F. Cain of South Bend, son of Mrs. Jennie Cain of this city. The wedding took place March 8, at the par Copley Plaza Hotel, Boston.

1 Closing Reports of the New York State Department of Farms and now to Danisn Piles Thousands Bless Dr. Leonhnrrlt, th Physician Who Discovered This Common Sense Remedy If you think that the surgeon's knlfs is the only method of escape from ths misery of piles, it's because you haven't heard of the new treatment known as Dr. Leonhardt's HEM-ROID. The Doctor's treatment is Internal. By experimenting for years he discovered the exact cause of plies and then went further and comnounded a remedv that sonage of the First M.

E. Church, Bronson. The couple will live In South Bend. INTRODUCTION. OU'LL find some almost stumpers In today's puzzle, possibly, but there Isn't a word that doesn't Interlock at least twice, while some of them connect three and four times with others.

So if you come on one that looks unsolvable, go at it from the EVANS VILLE The second news paper office weddlnir to he held In Reading of the Scout Oath. Vanderbilt Coffee Orchestra. Cutting Out Cross Talk and Spark Interference. Housing Conditions in the United southern Indiana within the last quarter This swell Dinner was Riven a long time ago. It coat .10 much 0 Plate.

This 1 was a Joke. The Plates had practically nothing to do with the Affair. The Important Features of the Feast were the many Receptacles which each Guest found in front of him some short, some tall, some with long Stems and others requiring only a little Gravri In the Bottom and a few Gold Fish swimming about to complete the resemblance to a center-table Aquarium. The B. V.

I). Period. The Chairman of the Committee on Arrangement was a popular Win i pusher and he saw to It that all Colors and Vintages were served. All this happened In the by-gone days when so-called Diners could hoist during every Course Instead of being compelled to heavily In advance. jn as a Camel getting ready to cross the Sahara Desert.

In the period known as B. V. p. (Be fore Volstead Decreed) there was only one Bar in each Hotel tnsteadof one Just beyond each open Transom, the Person who kept it In his Room was regarded with Suspicion, and wlio carried a Flask was a Social Outcast. There was no need of hiding it away because It could be purchased on a Moment's Notice, at almost any kind I of a Retail Establishment except a Hardware The Chosen and Elect who came to attend the big T-stimon nl to the rivet-hearted Money-Oetter knew that the whole Irrigation Project had been care fully worked out in Advance, that the Walters has received their miction that the rate of Mortality would be very high.

Bnfas Makes a Hit. Therefore, the Function got away to a hurrah Start, with Music, Song and Laughter, and the best of Feeling in eVAonge'about 11:15, when many of the Prominent Citizens lined up behind the Crystal Ware had temporarily forgotten ihe name of the Guest of Honor a llg. nlfled Rufus connected with the Jobbing Trade arose in his Place to speak a few Hi''Work for many Tears had been highly mercantile, but ever since his High School Days he had secre ly kept warm a Delusion that should ha studied I-aw. worked his Why into Poll ties and specialized on popular Oratory. He had accumulated the Jack, but had thrown away a great Career.

T-h Sneaker had prepnred an Ad- or a ceniury took place Wednesday in side. That is, If you can't readily figure out "not observing flavor" (29), note that the vertical word beginning at 27 is a synonym for "unload" states the office of the Boonville Enquirer when Thomas E. Townsely, formerly of Owensboro. and Mrs. Lula Tanner Crowe to start with, and if you'll recall that flavor 1 uran elecuon8 Vnanea dump.

That gives a or iwaneville were united in marriage and taste are related words, you'll be able to find the one you want. "Now." says the Mrs. "I guess that the Rev. E. Brown of the Boonville E.

Church officiating. William Oarleton, editor, and Mrs. W. E. Mor rison of Evansville, attended the bridal pair.

Carleton, under whose direction the newspaper office wedding was arranged, also arranged the first of would remove the cause. Dr. Leonhardt wants every sufferer to benefit by his discovery and so that there will be. no doubting or delay. Hook's Dependable Drug stores and all druggists are authorized to sell HEM-ROID with guarantee that it will do as stated or money back.

On that honorable basis every sufferer should secure a package of Dr. Ieonhardt's HKM-HOID today. southern Indiana newspaper weddings which took place in the Evansville Courier office twenty years ago. The couple will reside In Evansville. will learn you to not leave me home alone evenings." Should Reverse Programs.

"You said a mouthfull," I says. "But still and all a man has got to practice self denial. Besides which I am glad 1 did not hear the mouth organ selections as mouth organ selections over a radio always upsets me." "What Is they about mouth selections over the radio that upsets you?" asked the Mrs. "Just the thought," I says, "the thought that nobody can get at the guy that is playing them." In conclusions would like to state that I have Just one criticism to offer namely that the afternoon programs should ought to be devoted more to stuff the kiddies likes and evening: programs appeal more to grown ups instead of vice PROMINENT STOCK RAISER OF SHELBY COUNTY DIES SHELBTVILLE, March 15. Stop Rheumatism In 48 Hours John R.

Tomlinson, 83 years old, retired farmer and stock raiser, died early to day at his home, Forest Glen farm, near here. He was born on the farm and cHAMp i IoInUs cm I daH I MM A WOAlTR DLJOP U. PrfsOUNA NICIYlJ ed ig 1 bi unp eIaMe tTw i spr dMpja RPJJL Kl pi PIT I PQw eJpi eTt el th ROpORPHTcT gXje a dugut crji 0y I Tj JeTg A BLjTT SI 51 ATDaN I FrM EC AT 0 MAI 0 "tsD 1yi ii hjlR I A HNFlU YMOINLTr I A Tnu I MErto 1 LMp A I A flj I 1 t- I nG Don't suffer from those terrible stabbing pains of Rheumatism, sciatica. with the exception of two years, bad versa. The gents in charge seems to think that anywheres from; 9 p.

m. on u. is O. K. for bedtime stories Whereas will 1 CLASSIFYING ANKCDOTKS, lived on It all of his life.

He was an expert judge of sheep at state and county fairs, and had a wide acquaintance what you have tried I confidently pre among, stock men of the middle West. The funeral will be held at the Falrland with Jinklnson and then they said he Christian Church Monday, with the Rev W. H. Book of Columbus officiating. TWO SEEK NOMINATION FOR say that any bedtime stories listed after 6 p.

m. means a upheaval in this family at least. And the other day in the middle of the afternoon they was a number put on over in Newark by a chorus of beauties from the Music Box revue and nobody home to hear them except the wife and kiddies who don't appreciate beauties from the Music Box or any other revue a specially when they half to look at them through a loud speaker. dict your trouble will yield to my famous Anti-Rumatix treatment, and your pain will vanish seemingly like magic. Many sufferers get amazing relief in only a few hours.

To prove it, I am offering to send a $1 treatment absolutely free and postpaid to every sufferer who writes me. Since this never costs you anything and does not obligate you in any way, write for the free treatment today, and prove at my risk that you can be rid of AUGUST EYSSELU Dept. 174, Kyssell Laboratories, Kansas City, Mo. ALLEN COUNTY PROSECUTOR down In front of the decorative Canape Caviar and got ready to endure the Horrors of another Hotel Gorge, they would glance across the Snowy Ixpanse of While, dotted with plump California Olives and cold, unfeeling Celery, and seeing Mr. Jinklnson seated opposite, would remark "Stung He could not have kept In his Chair with a Ton of.

Coal In each Tall Pocket. And If the Ladles were present, that was when he worked In the Bird-Calls and ordered out the Twinkling Stars. According to the Expectation Tables of the Insurance Actuaries, probably he will Stick Around for 32 years more and never find out that he la a Pest. Those who bemoan the De FORT WAYNE, March 15. Ed ward L.

Siebold, an attorney, announced today that he will enter the Republican whs nil right. Who was all right? Jinklnson! He received what he described to his Wife at 2 A. M. as a Novation. Another good Man was spoiled.

From the night he made that gosh-awful Hit with the Souses, poor Mr. Jinklnson became absolutely convinced that he was the re-lncarnntlon of Dan-lei Webster, a good deal more magnetic than Al Jolson and several degrees funnier than Bill Rogers. He knew that his Mission In Life was to attend Dinners so that he could carry Messages to thoughtful American Citizens and cheer them up by telling a few Cood Ones that he had picked up in Pullman Cars or seen on the Screen. Whenever he found himself seated at a Table with other People and Food primaries as a candidate for the nom dross which was trll of Fireworks ana Cut Flowers, and rhe had worked in a choice line of Joe Millers. Furthermore, he had the first requisite oY Greatness, a penetrating Megaphone $lce which could cut through i the Cigar Smoke and drown the Street Trar- flHe was keyed to Coneert Pitch and the.

udience was In what you might call a Receptive Mood ready to weep Sver the death of George Washington or enlist for the Civil He was a riot. All the old sure-fire Hokum and the Haverly Minstrel Gags went over big. He killed them in i their seats. Even some of the Walters stopped serving in order to listen to him. A Good Man Spoiled.

When he concluded, all the hilarious Bun Brothers, with the mussed-up Hair and the twisted Shirt Bosoms, arose to their Feet and waved Napkins. They wanted to know what was the matter Inatlon for prosecuting attorney. George H. Leonard Is the only other Republic an (Copyright, 1924, by the Bell Syndicate, Inc.) MRS. NELLIE COLLINS'S TRIAL SET FOR MAY 12 MONTICELLO, March 15.

who has announced his candidacy for SOLUTION TO LAST WEEK'S PUZZLE. the office. Paul M. who had I I I 2 I 4 I 5 7 8 considered entering the race, announced definitely that he will not be a candidate and has offered his support cline of Oratory should remember that Orutory never was known to Decline, (Copyright, 1924, by Bell Snydlcate, Inc.) Mrs. Nellie B.

Collins, who confessed to local authorities that she placed poison to Mr. Leonard. How Many Pounds Would You Like to Gain in a Week? If you are thin and scrawny and would like to cafn welcht, I will send you a sample of the trenulne Hilton's Vitamlnes absolutely FREE. Do not send any money ust your name and address to W. W.

Hilton. 155 Gateway Kansas City, Mo. Advertisement. In the corn bread which she made for her husband, Aaron Collins, on March 6, which caused his death the next dnv. pleaded not guilty to the charge of murder in the first degree, when arraigned oeiore jucige a.

if: uarr in the White Circuit court this afternoon. Her attorney, George Kassabaum. also entered Dr. C. M.

Clayton For Legislature plea that she was of unsound mind at POTASH and PERLMUTTER the time the act was committed. Her Discuss: THE RIGHT KICK IN THE RIGHT PLACE By Montague Glass. trial was set for Monday, May 12. Mrs. Collins will be held at the Cass county Jail at Logansport, until the day of the trial.

EVANSVILLE MAN KILLED. EVANSVILLE, March 15. Henry Koester, 48 years old, was struck by the Dixie Flyer train here today and Instantly killed. It was several hours after the accident that the body was identified. The widow and seven children survive.

Koester had lived in the city for several years. I ELL, Abe," Morris Perlmutter said one afternoon recently, "I hope you feel proud of yourself the way you acted in Wasser-bauer's restaurant this lunchtlme. Honestly, Abe, if anyone would have told me thatlyou could make such a spectacle of your EN self on account of the gefullte Rinderbrust having too much pepper into it, y'understand, I wouldn't have believed him at all. You behaved like Wasserbauer would be trying to swindle you or something." "Well, wasn't he?" Abe Potash inquired. "And besides, Mawruss, It wasn't the Rinderbrust.

It was the principle of the thing, because it don't make no difference if it's a restaurant, a hotel, a business or a country, the kind of service a man gets for his money, depends one hundred upon the kind of kick he is going to put up If he don't get it. Which I suppose Mawruss, if I would have ett that gefullte Rinderbrust without kicking about It, y'understand, that would have been equivalence to sticking coals of fire on Wasserbauer's head, and right away he would have made a resolution never to serve such machshovos to his customers again. Is that the idea? COUGHING, WEAK AND THJNAFTER FLU Regained flesh and strength quickly, and tells how. -nearly rom flu' last October, arid 1t left me with a terrible cough, lhe doctor cave me one bottle of medicine after another, but It did me no good. Went to Charlotte.

N. and took treatment of a specialist without any permanent benefit. "I saw Milks Emulsion advertised and started using it. It helped me right from the start. I had no appetite and mv stomach was in bad shape.

But 12 have straightened me out entirely I eat anything without distress, my cough is gone and I have gained hack my strength and flesh." Emma Withers. Box Belmont, N. C. Don't trifle with a weak, run-down condition. It leaves you open to serious diseases.

Get your strength back. Milks Emulsion costs nothing to try. Milks Emulsion restores healthy, natural bowel action: It Is a truly corrective medicine, doing away with all need of pills and physics. It promotes appetite and quickly puts the digestive organs In shape to assimilate food, and thus build flesh and strength. Milks Emulsion is strongly recommended to those whom sickness has weakened it is a powerful aid In resisting: and repairing the effects of wr sting Chronic stomach trouble and constipation are promptly relieved.

This is the only solid emulsion made, and so palatable that it is euten with a spoon like Ice cream. Wonderful for weak, sickly children. No matter how severe your case, you are urged to try Milks Emulsion under this guarantee: Take six bottles home with you; use it according to directions and if not satistied with, the results your money will be promptly refunded. Price Ok: and $1.20 per bottle. The Milks Emulsion Terre Haute, Ind.

Sold by druggists everywhere. LOOK Y01G, PRETTY Grandma's Recipe of Sage Tea and Sulphur Darkens, so Naturally That Nobody Can Tell. THIS WEEK'S PUZZLE. and then, Mawruss, them merchants who advertise so extensively that they aim to please, wouldn't be 'such consistently rotten bad shots." "Seemingly, Abe, you forget that you are a merchant yourself," Morris observed, "and you would be the first one to cuss out a customer who advertised among the trade that you had shipped him a bill of goods which weren't made up according to sample." "Maybe I would," Abe admitted, "but advertising Is advertising, Mawruss, and Just one advertisement from a customer that he ain't satisfied with his order may do a little harm to the sales department, but It's bound to have a good effect on the manufacturing department. Take this here advertising which the United States government has got through Tea Pot Dome, Mawruss, and while It may spoil the sale of government oil lands for some time to come, y'understand, it will have a whole lot of government employes right on their toes to Improve the quality of their service hereafter." "Also, Mawruss, I don't know how much confidence Mr.

Coolldge has got I nthem motto souvenir post cards, but I'll bet that he ain't hiring lawyers to Investigate Tea Pot Dome on the theory that they would be worth while because they could smile when everything goes dead wrong," Abe concluded. "What he Is doing Is to hire a couple of live wire cross examiners who will Jump right In nnd find out who Is responsible for everything going dead wrong, and when they do find out, Mawruss, the smile will be on the other foot, and don't you forget It." (Copyright, 1024, by the Bell Syndicate, Inc.) HORIZONTAL 1 Curved. 3 Reveal. 7 Steadfast. 9 Worked to Influence the voting.

11 Fine particles of stone. 12 Gave up living. 13 A short projecting remnant. 13 Those opposed to liquor traffic. IS Pertaining to kings.

19 The last. 21 Not lowered. 23 Once President of the United DR. CHARLES, MURRAY CLAYTON. One of the strongest contenders for a seat in the state Legislature, subject to the Democratic primary, is Dr.

Charles Murray Clayton, 13S West Washington street, who has lived In Indianapolis for 48 years and practiced medicine for 2a years. Dr. Clayton has come out openly for a reduction In taxes, a state soldier bonus and constructive legislation. He has many friends in this city and over the state States. VERTICAL.

1 Anathematizes. 2 Related. 3 Not trimmed. 4 To mount. 6 Covered with ivy.

i fl Flutelike in sound. 7 To supply with provender, 8 To attend to. 9 A book of information. Ill Amusement. 13 An insult.

14 Not connected. 1(1 17 A popular drink. 15 Sends back. 2(1 One who blames. 22 Ladies.

27 To unload. 2S A monster mostly mentioned in fairy tales. 33 Does ns ordered. 34 Condition. 35 Pronoun.

36 Primitive Teutonic letters. 37 Leave out. 3S Merely. 39 Theories. 4(1 To put an edge on.

(Copyright, 1924, by the Bell Syndicate, Inc.A replied; "but when Wasserbauer's cook put tdo much pepper In the Rinderbrust, Mawruss, you told me right there In front of Wasserbauer that the man who never made a mistake never made anything, which I presume you seen this on one of them motto post cards, Mawruss, because I found a whole lot of them for sale In the news stand near my subway station, and not only did they have ha sort of nonsense on them, but one of them also had some poeti'y on it which said that the man worth while is the man who can smile, when everything toes dead wrong." "Well, ain't he?" Morris Inquired. "Not around me he ain't," Abe declared positively, "unless you could call a man worth while who has got a fractured skull from me. crowning him with a pressing iron for smiling at the wrong time. Because, Mawruss. its the man who can smile when everything goes dead wrong is responsible for all the had restaurants, poor hotel service, fiat-wheel trolley cars, Inconvenient train Hair that loses its color and luster, or when it fades, turns gray, dull and lifeless, is caused by a lack of sulphur In the hair.

Our grandmother made up a mixture of Sage Tea and Sulphur to keep her locks dark and beautiful, and thousands of women and men who value that even color, that beautiful dark shade of hair which is so attractive, use only this old-time recipe. Nowadays we get this famous mixture improved by the addition of other Ingredients by asking at any drug store for a bottle of "Wyeth's Sage and Sulphur Compound," which darkens the hair so naturally, so evenly, that nobody can possibly tell It has been applied. You Just dampen a sponge or soft brush with it and draw this through your hair, taking one small strand at a time. By morning the gray hair disappears; but what delights the ladles with Wyeth's Sage and Sulphur Compound is that, besides beautifully darkening the hair after a few applications, It also brings back the gloss and luster and gives it an appearance of abundance. Advertisement.

who are working for his election, Paid Advertisement. 24 A rlown. 25 bight yellow. 2(1 bassoed. 28 A fertile spot.

29 Not observing flavor. 30 Vapor. SI Report. 32 Containing seeds. 3: Part of verb "to, be." 37 A river of the United States.

39 Unit of measure. 41 One who favors the addition of "Reeause, Mawruss." Abe continued without waiting for an answer, "If thnt's the way you think. 1 think differently. In fact, Mawruss, I would even go so far as to say that If I wouldn't have put up a roar about that gefullte Rinderbrust, y'understand, Wasserbauer would have floured that if his customers would eat that sort of stuff, they would cat anything, and the first thing you know, you would be paying for live dollars an oltlee call to a stomach specialist to tell you you should cut out pepper In your food, when you could have heard me say It for nothing In Wasserbauer's." Nobody Ivores a Kicker. "I heard you Morris exclaimed.

"Practically, the entire garment trade heard you. You couldn't have talked longer and louder to Wasserbauer if Instead of giving you Rinderbrust with too much pepper In he would have given you this here cyanide of potassium with too much arsenic In it." "Well, my idea Is that If you're gn-Ing to kick, it shouldn't ought to be in a confidential affair between you ami the feller who Ij trying to put something over on you." Abe observed. "The merchant who advertises: 'If you are pleased tell others. If not. tell may or may not Intend that he will make It right with you if you ain't pleased, Mawruss.

-but on the other hand, he may be too busy or something. The consequences will be, Mawruss, that during the dozen or so private little nlks vou and him may have had together, flftv more of his customers may have got stuck in Just the same one territory to another. QUEEN MARIE IN FRANCE. NICK, France, March 15. Queen Marie of Jugo-Slavla arrived here today Incognito for a visit.

42 Small, 43 Boils. 44 A fish. BIG ULCER ALL HEALED Now She Can Walk "I'm Happy," Says Peterson schedules and even bribed politicians. In fact, Mawruss, the business of the country Is organized pn the idea that a. man who kicks when he is Imposed upon by a merchant, is a poor sport und a squealer.

Gypping on Kickers, "Take for instance the idea: "Your check Is your receipt and do you suppose for one Instant that a European merchant could put over a petty A. Champion Waits 18 Years For Help SChilDben economy like that on a customer? In Kurope a check Is a check and a receipt Is a receipt, and It should ought to be over here too, because when I has been used In millions of homes during the past Oil years relieving disorders of the Kidneys and IJver. Try a bottle and notice the Improvement In your health. Contains no alcohol or habit forming drugs. For children or adults.

Sold by Haag's drug- stores, Goldsmith Hook's dependable stojes and all leading druggists. Send for free sample and booklet. WARNEU'S SAFE KKMKDIKS CO. Kept. 47 Koche.ter, N.

Y. What "Here Is another letter that makes me happy." says Peterson. "One that I would rather have than a thousand dollars." "Money Isn't everything In this world. There is many a big-hearted rich man who would give all he has on earth be able to produce a remedy with mighty healing power as Peterson's want to find out If I paid my last Feb Many Doctors Had Different Ideas Caused Stomach Trouble ruary's lodge dues, I don't want to waste a whole morning digging up my way as you were on aec or you ana him carrying on your conversation in such a low tone of voice that they was linn hie to overhear you calling him a dlrtv crook who was trying to cover up his tracks bv persuading customers that they should ought to be good sports about being swindled." "At the same time. Abe." Morris protested, "nohodv loves a kloker." "That's the' Idea which ex-Secretary Fall, Mr.

Doheny and Mr. Sinclair arej Irving to build up." Abe declared. "In 1 canceled vouchers Instead of having stamped receipt to show for It. Hut the Idea Is in this country that a eus toraer Is so good natured, he don't mind standing in line to buy a soda check before he drinks the soda. "Also he is tickled to pieces when he goes to a meat market and after his goods are weighed and wrapped, he has Don't Spoil Your Child's Hair By Washing It! to oav the bill and bring the receipt Ointment.

"Read this letter by Mrs. Albert Soutlicott. It seems lilie a miracle, but it is true, every word of It. "Is it any wonder 1 am happy!" Bear Sirs: "I was a sufferer from an old running sore and ulcer. 1 had tried must everything without any relief from pain.

A friend told me of your wonderful ointment and the first box took away the pain that had not left me before in years, and after using Just nine dollars' worth I am cured. The ulcer whs 0 Inches by Inches, Is all healed and I can walk. Never, never will I be without Peterson's Ointment. "You may use this to recommend your ointment if you wish. I can not sav enough to praise It." Tours truly, Mrs.

Albert Southcott, I.yndonvllle, N. Y. Price 3Bc. Advertisement. "I suffered from stomach troubl.

for 18 yearn Saw many doctors, also stomach specialists. Some said It wa. ca tarrh of the stomach, some gall stone, fO'" of the stomach and some appendicitis. After taking Adlerlka (intestinal antiseptic) I feel better than for years and an no longer bothered with gas." (faigned) L. A.

Champion. Intestinal Antiseptic There is now offered to the public a prlpamtiin having the DOUBLE action of an intestinal antiseptic and a COMPI-KTE yatfiu cleanser. This preparation, known aa Aillertka, acts as follows: I tends to eliminate or destroy harmful sarins and colon tiacilli In the intestinal more foul matter It brings out which was poisoning you. In slight disorders, such as occasional constipation, sour stomach, gas on the stomach and sick headache, one spoonful Adlerlka ALWAYS brings relief. A longer treatment, however, it necessary in cases of obstinate constipation and long standing stomach trouble, preferably under direction of your physician.

Reports From Physicians. "I found Adlerika the best in my entire 37 vears' experience." (Signed) Dr, O. Eggers. "I use Adlerlka In all bowel cases. Some requira only on dose." (Signed) Dr.

F. M. P. (Name given on requeHt.) "I have found nothing in my 60 years' practice to excel Adlerlka." (Signed) Vr. James Weaver.

"After taking Adlerlka feel better than for 2 1 years. Haven't language to express fact, Mawruss, the whole country seems to think that a man who kicks about being gypped, y'understand, is a whole lot worse, than the man who gyps him. Which on that theory, y'understand, Fall, Doheny and Sinclair are big-hearted, open-handed men, good sports and so plain and democratic about everything. The Man Who Can Smile. "Because, as a matter of fact, Mawruss, this here Admiral Griffin put up a big geschrel even before the Tea Pot Dome thing went through.

He was crying before he was hurt and. therefore, canal, thus sruannnB bKmioi and other diseases nuvinB imu emu. i. tiio mnHt romnlete system cleanser to the salesman before he could get the package. In other words.

Mawruss, he is not only a customer, but he is also an unpaid employe or the merchant's bookkeeping department, and If he don't kick about it, why should the merchants?" "If everybody felt the way you do, Abe, America would soon get the reputation of being a nation of chronic Morris remarked. "Well, is It better to have a reputation as a nation of chronic kickers than to he known as a nation of chronic gyppers?" Abe asked. "Because you can't have It both ways. Chronic kicking Is the result of chronic gypping, and if the moving picture censurers or whoever It is pass on these here motto souvenir post cards knew their business, Mawruss, they would in sist that them cards be withdrawn from circulation and new ones issued, reading: IF YOU ARE PLEASED, TELL OTHERS. IF NOT, TELL.

THE WOKLXJ. ever offered to the public, acting on buii When you wash children's hair be careful what you use. Many soaps and prepared shampoos contain too much free alkali, which Is very injurious, as It dries the scalp and makes the hair brittle. The best thing to use Is Mulslfied Co-coanut Oil Shampoo, for this is pur and entirely greaaeless. It is inexpensive and beats anything else all to pieces.

Two or three teaspoonfuls Is all that is required. Simply moisten the hair with water and rub ft in. It makes an abundance df rich, creamy lather, which cleanses thoroughly, and rinses out easily. The hair dries quickly and evenly, and is soft, fresh looking, bright, fluffy, wavy and easy to manage. Besides, it loosens and takes out every particle of dust, dirt and dandruff.

You I can get Mulsifled Cocoanut Oil Shampoo at any drug store, and a few ounces will last for months. Advertisement. MOTHER Fletcher's Castoria is especially prepared to relieve Infants in arms and Children all ages of Constipation Wind Colic To Sweeten Stomach. Flatulency Diarrhea Regulate Bowels Aids in the assimilation of Food, promoting Cheerfulness, Rest, and tinner and lower bowel and removing inuinthe AWr UL lMri Kiiian eliminated irom (Signed) J. E.

Puckett, matter which poisoned the system for niy system, Adlerlka (n a constant surnrlse to neo- months and which nothing else can dfs indo. It brjncs out an rh.co. uiub uumiv- Mawruss, with your Ideas tliRt Wasserbauer Is entitled to sympathy because he 1 served me rotten food and I raised a big I howl about it, y'understand. Admiral i Griffin should ought to be Investigated by the Senate, while Fall, Sinclair and diatelv rriieinir pressure on the heart. It is astonishing the great amount of poison ple who have used only ordinary bowel and stomach medicines, on account of Its rapid, pleasant an COMPLETE action.

It is sold bv leading druggists everywhere. Sold in Indianapolis by Henry Huder. Hook's Drug Stores and other leading druggists. Advertisement. ous AdlerlKa araws rrom tne ali mentary canal matter juuii" uiuukiu Kodaks, Cameras and Supplies The H.

Lieber Co. 24 W-Wash. St. was in your system. Try it right after a Natural Sleep without Opiates To avoid imitations, always look for the signature of turai movement una uouco mucn Doheny should ought to get the vote of thanks or something." "Did I say they should?" Morris RENT THAT SPARE ROOM WITH A STAR WANT.

Proven directiotn on each package. Physician everywhere recommend it, Mot in their case you didn't, Aba.