The Cincinnati Enquirer from Cincinnati, Ohio • Page 47

THE CINCINNATI ENQUIRER Section Tomorrow: Beautifying buds Spring will take on a new look around town when the White Blossom Festival gets underway. Television 5 Comics 6 Puzzles 7 Editor: Sara Pearce, 768-8495 Friday October 14, 1994 EMPO We're so oriented to getting the bad guy, and what gets lost is consideration for the needs of the victim. Capt. David Stanley, commander of Community Services division 'Black Book' has tips for husbands BY TO NT CASHNELLI The Cincinnati Enquirer What do women want? Men who laugh at their jokes, pitch in on grocery shopping and take turns cleaning the bathroom. In time for Sweetest Day (Saturday), author Robert J.

Ackerman has compiled these and other Cliffs Notes on sensitivity in A Husband's Little Black Book: Common Sense, Wit and Wisdom for a Better Marriage (Health Communications $5.95 at major bookstores or by special order). Geared to guys Geared to guys, this pint-size parody of a bachelor's list of phone numbers and vital statistics is based on the assumption that "the greatest danger to marriage is apathy," Ack i i ft cf 7 vi 'WJ fiHl ii Photos by Kevin J. MiyazakiThe Cincinnati Eqnuirer Price, listen to Peggy Caldwell of Women Helping Women during a role-playing exercise. MM JIM KNIPPENBERG PSST! Gay conservatives may convene in city Rich Tafel, national president of the Log Cabin Republicans, a group of gay and lesbian political conservatives, was seen all around town last weekend. He was here, says local Log Cabin president Sam Collins, sizing up the city as a possible site for the group's 1995 national convention, a possibility that's looking stronger every day.

"I think it's between Cincinnati and New Orleans," Collins says, "but other cities are still bidding." The idea to bring the convention here surfaced several months ago when Robert Dean was group president. The idea was to have the 600 delegates here in Issue 3-land so everyone can see "that we're not a bunch of left-wing loonies," Collins says. "We also support strong families, a tough stand on crime and sensible spending." Cincinnati, Collins says, may get the group for that very reason. Another reason: "This is the No. 1 money town of the 40 clubs nationwide.

We have more Lincoln Club (individuals who donate $1,000 or more) than any other city." Tafel didn't have much free time: He showed up at two Log Cabin benefits one for the local group, one for the national a Martin Wade benefit at Collins' Blue Mountain Coffee and a dinner at Carol's Corner Cafe Saturday. LOOKING FOR MOM: Cincinnati TV viewers will see a familiar face on the tube tonight. It's Jim Rosenberger in a segment of Unsolved Mysteries (8 p.m. Channel 5). Artsy types will remember Rosenberger from his days at the Contemporary Arts Center in the 70s where, as public relations director, he was all the time meeting and greeting.

He now runs Performance Resources, a video firm that shoots around the world. His segment was filmed in July in Hyde Park and downtown. It deals with Phyllis Strub, who disappeared 14 years ago after she supposedly embezzled more than $250,000 from her employer. The FBI thinks Strub is still around, because her family keeps getting strange calls. Rosenberger plays an auditor in the Embezzler Mom segment.

DANCE JURY STILL OUT: No word on whether Oktoberfest gets a place in the Guinness Book of Records for the World's Largest Chicken Dance. But it looks good. Downtown Council staffer Raymond "Buzz" Buse will ship evidence to Guinness any day. Final figure on the dance: 48,000 (based on stickers council volun- Raymond Buse teers handed out and police estimates). Buse expects to hear in late December whether it's a record.

PARTY ALERT: As nearly as Psst! can tell, the place to be on the west side Saturday is the middle of West Eighth Street where it dead-ends, so to speak, at St. Joseph Cemetery. The area, already a party district thanks to the Blue Note and Crow's Nest, goes a step further when Crow's Nest owner Peggy Maue teams with Don Driehaus (the younger, not the former Hamilton County Democratic Party co-chair) and Mark O'Hearn for a street party. "It began as a Blue Moon Saloon reunion," Maue says, "because we all worked there way back when. But it evolved into "A Street Party for Jake's Sake'." Jake is Jake Korte, infant son of Neil and Terri Korte, and a victim of Hurler's Disease, a rare disorder (1 in 250,000) that slowly destroys internal organs but which maybe can be controlled by a marrow transplant.

Insurance won't cover the operation, because it's experimental; hence the benefit party. Blue Lou and the Accusations is the band but Maue expects lots of local musicians to sit in. It's 7-11 p.m. Saturday and free but they're asking for a $5 donation. Have a Psst! item to report? Call Jim Knip-penbergat 768-85 13; fax: 768-8330.

A erman says by phone from his office at Indiana University of Pennsylvania (Indiana, Black Book is a lightweight departure for sociology prof Acker-man, who delves into addiction, abuse and divisive gender issues in best-selling works like Perfect Daughters (Health Communications, $8.95) and appearances on the Oprah Winfrey and Today shows. In 1993, "When I wrote my last book (Silent Sons, $21), I was sitting here with all these interviews and thinking, "What else could I do for The answer: Tell them what makes women happy. Ackerman translated his leftover research into 157 insightful one-liners for men, from, "Share the TV remote control" to "Don't criticize her family." "I thought if I could get guys to remember one thing on a page, that would be wonderful." Some of the suggestions in Black Book are common courtesies, like, "Pick up your dirty clothes." Others are meant to draw men out of their stereotypical emotional shell, such as: "A husband's silence often says more than we think. It is better to explain ourselves." Women, you're wrong Women think men are unemotional, Ackerman says but they're wrong. "In my research, men said their biggest problem was the inability to express those emotions.

There's a lot of gender socialization for men; men keep so much inside. If you don't know what to do with feelings, you stuff 'em. "It's not uncommon to run across men who have a difficult time giving a woman a compliment. They have a very difficult time giving the ultimate compliment, such as, 'I love The author's marital role model is his parents, married 52 years. The one thing I learned from them is: You hang in A lot of times today, people enter into relationships thinking that what got them into relationships will sustain them automatically, that you don't need to work at it Sometimes, people don't want to work." The most common wifely complaint Ackerman hears is "their partner takes them for granted.

People want to be treated like adults, with respect." And don't forget to replace the toilet paper at the end of the roll. "Sometimes, the best thing to do is just lighten up, or pay attention to small things, which probably will keep you away from the therapist" Wife-pleasers A few of Robert J. Acker-man's wife-pleasing strategies for husbands: Don't ask her how long she's been on the phone. Get out of bed first on cold mornings and turn up the heat. If you win the game you're playing, don't gloat.

Spend more time with your children. If you don't want to do something, tell her why. Keep her secrets. If she wrecks the car, ask her if she is all right before you ask about the car. Role-playing teaches Cincinnati police recruits how to talk to victims feel comfortable.

Interview the victim in a non-judgmental way. Maintain control in crisis situations while being empathetic. "We're so oriented to getting the bad guy, and what gets lost is consideration for the needs of the victim," says Capt. David Stanley, commander of the Community Services division and former commander of the academy. In-depth training The training has been commended by officials at the Ohio Peace Officers Training Council (OPOTC), the governing body in London, Ohio, that regulates the state's police departments.

They have called it in-depth and unique, according to Sgt. Mike Gardner, who works in the Training Section division. One reason is that civilians are actors, which provides a more realistic view of situations, says officer Jim Brown, an academy instructor. Police recruits Mike Roth, left, and Dan mi BY MARY BETH CROCKER The Cincinnati Enquirer Within the stark white walls of a classroom at the Cincinnati Police Academy at Longworth Hall, recruits listen as three women and one man during make-believe scenarios tell what it's like to be a victim of sexual assault or domestic violence. The intense role-playing, in which some recruits volunteer to play police officers, has become a part of the training of Cincinnati law-enforcement officials.

The room is quiet as students scribble notes. In one scene, a woman sobs as she tells police how she was beaten by her husband. "All I want is him to stop hitting me," the woman says. In another, an irate mother demands that an officer (played by a recruit) arrest her next-door neighbor for molesting her 11-year-old son, then in a fit of rage grabs the officer's night stick and starts waving it around. "Wipe that smile off your face," the mother screams to the officer.

"Wipe it off." Violent scenarios In a third scenario, a young woman tells an officer that a date with her boyfriend turned into a fight. He forced her to lie on the floor and he raped her. The training is conducted by Women Helping Women a local agency that works with female victims of rape and domestic violence. The purpose of the two four-hour training sessions is to make recruits aware of the victim's feelings when they respond to a rape, domestic dispute or incest call. Recruits learn to: Be attentive to the victim and make the victim The more lifelike the scenarios are, the better prepared inexperienced officers will be to handle situations on the street.

"It was a lot harder than I thought it would be," says recruit Virginia Wright, who played an officer who talked with a 16-year-old girl who was raped. "But better in the classroom than out on the street." Seven years of training WHW has provided this training to recruits for seven years. It's estimated that 250 to 300 officers of a departmental total of 980 officers have taken the training. It was initiated by WHW, the academy, and the Hamilton County Prosecutor's Office. One reason is that the OPOTC began to require recruits to undergo "crisis counseling" training, in which officers are taught how to handle sexual assault or domestic violence cases.

Another reason was a growing awareness that police officers needed to be more sensitive to victims, says Jim Butler, chief assistant prosecuting attorney for Hamilton County, who helped establish the program. There was no specific incident that led to that awareness, he says. WHW staff members led training sessions for officers on the street, so it seemed appropriate that it be provided to new recruits at the academy. Most of the training focuses on sexu al assault. "Quite frankly, that is the most common type of crisis that people and families find themselves in," says Butler, who often participates as an instructor in training.

Ann MacDonald, WHWs executive director, is the trainer. She's assisted by staff members Peggy Caldwell, a (Please see RECRUITS, Page D3) Crime stats, D3 i 1 During a role-playing session, Cincinnati police recruit Gary Christie listens to Barry Webb, a training coordinator at the Cincinnati Police Academy who plays a man who has been sexually assaulted. 'Lion1 goes Pops Terminal boos The haunting of Union Terminal gets under way with Boofest, two weeks of ghosts, creepy stories and weird sights. Opens 5:30 p.m. today; various times through week.

$4.95, $2.95 kids. Museum Center at Union Terminal. Details In Weekend. 287-7030. Call to folkles Folk song writer and singer Bob Franke, known for such songs as "Thanksgiving Eve" and "Hard Love," headlines a folkie concert in the lower level ballroom at the University YMCA.

270 Calhoun Clifton. 8 p.m. $10. 829-8360. Plenty accordions Jack Frost's Accordion Band that's up to 20something accordions at once headlines weekend festivities at Shady-Nook.

$5 entertainment charge; menu prices vary. 879 Millville-Oxford Road.Shows at 7 and 9 p.m. today and Saturday. 863-4343. Erich Kunzel, the Cincinnati Pops Orchestra and Indiana University Singing Hoosiers dig into Disney music from Lion King, Aladdin, Beauty and the Beastzntl Little Mermaid.

8 p.m. today, Saturday and Sunday. Music Hall, 1241 Elm St. 621-1919..