The Cincinnati Enquirer from Cincinnati, Ohio on April 30, 1991 · Page 10
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The Cincinnati Enquirer from Cincinnati, Ohio · Page 10

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Cincinnati, Ohio
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Tuesday, April 30, 1991
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Page 10
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B-2Advice, People the Cincinnati enquirer Tuesday, April 30, 1991 Dear Abby Poetic lament vividly describes the consequences of smoking DEAR ABBY: May this 80-year-old Abby fan thank you for your column urging smokers to quit smoking? That column was more powerful than all the anti-smoking campaigns put together. I am a former golf pro who had my vocal cords surgically removed many years ago due to a three-pack-a-day habit. As a "laryngectomee" myself, I am submitting a poem that I hope you will think worthy of printing. A LARYNGECTOMEE'S LAMENT "Your life or your 'voice,' sir you must make a choice, sir." "My life," I said, feeling quite bitter. They then cut the larynx, the organs and pharynx Connecting my lungs, snout and "spitter." So now, I'm unspoken, silence unbroken, except when I pound, stomp or swallow. My nose is a coma, I breathe through a stoma, a path no aroma can follow. How came I to be, a voice amputee? "An electronic aid is your answer, " The doctor did preach in his neat little speech "Self-pity is much worse than cancer." DEAN P. BLUM PRESIDENT NEW VOICE CLUB NEWARK, N.J. DEAR ABBY: When I was a Abby Van Buren very young girl, many, many years ago, I knew a poem that began, "Monday's child is fair of face" and it went on to name every day of the week and described the kind of child that would be born on that day. I have looked through all of my old children's books and have not been able to find it. Would you, or perhaps one of your readers, happen to know it? It is very frustrating to be unable to recall something you once knew so well. I was born in 1902 and taught school in a one-room schoolhouse in Kentucky. FORGETFUL DEAR FORGETFUL: The poem is titled "Monday's Child," and here it is: Monday's child is fair of face. Tuesday's child is full of grace. Wednesday's child is full of woe Thursday's child has far to go. Friday's child is loving and giving. Saturday's child has to work for its living. But the child that is born on the Sabbath Day Is fair and wise and good and gay. People Miss Manners Uninvited office party guests should be questioned by host DEAR MISS MANNERS: From time to time a co-worker and I bring in some sort of treat, such as a birthday cake or special holiday goodies, for the people in our group. Our work space is visible from the hallway, but very definitely not in a communal area. People we don't know, who don't bother to introduce themselves, simply stop in passing, help themselves, and then go on their merry way. Our initial response was one of slack-jawed disbelief; however, the second reaction was a temptation to inquire whether these people had been raised in the proverbial barn. Sharing is not a concern. We are simply seeking an appropriately polite yet stern remark with which to address these people. GENTLE READER: Since you have eschewed "Where were you brought up in a barn?" Miss Manners takes it you are looking for something polite. How about politely introducing yourself, asking your visitors who they are, and telling them the occasion being celebrated? This is not to say that Miss Manners believes you need feed the entire operation. But the boundaries of an office party that is held in space plainly visible to Judith Martin others are vague at best. Which office supplies are intended for everyone and which are private tend to be matters of confusion, especially when the private supplies consist of food. By treating these people as guests, you will encourage them to exhibit guestlike behavior, such as gratitude and perhaps even reciprocation. The delicate among them will back away, saying, "I'm sorry I had no idea this was a private party." They should be urged to stay (since they are there anyway, possibly already with a mouthful) and told that you would love to go and see them under informal circumstances, which you need not spell out as meaning when they are serving something good to eat. Judith Martin is a syndicated columnist and author of several books on manners. Living With Cancer Annual pap smear could miss fast-growing cervical cancer BY DARTMOUTH-HITCHCOCK MEDICAL CENTER STAFF QUESTION: I have been getting annual Pap smears for many years. Now I find out I have cervical cancer. How could this have happened? I thought the Pap test was supposed to catch this type of problem before it became cancer. ANSWER: The Papanicolaou (Pap) smear or test was named for Dr. George Papanicolaou who described it in the 1920s and devel-aped the use of the smear over the next two decades to test for squamous cell cancer of the uterine :ervix, the most common type of :ervical cancer. The Pap test was designed to detect early, pre-invasive squamous cell cervical cancer (and related abnormalities). It may also detect invasive squamous cell cervical cancer, infections, and cancers other than cervical cancer in the genital tract. Because squamous cell cervical cancer is usually slow-growing and develops over many years (five to fifteen), annual Pap tests nearly always detect it early, yielding a cure rate of 80-90. Today, those American women who die from cervical cancer do so partly because a small proportion f of cervical cancers are of types that grow too quickly to be detected by the Pap test and because some Pap tests miss the cancer cells, but mostly because so many women still fail to have the recommended tests. Perhaps your cervical cancer started developing after your last Pap test. It is possible that one or more of your Pap test results was a "false negative" (mistakenly indicating no abnormalities). Whatever the case, don't let this experience deter you from getting the regular Pap smeais recommended by your physienn in the future. Even though it is possible for an annual Pap test to miss a cancer, the Pap test is inexpensive and, done accurately as are the great majority and combined with a physical examination, it is an efficient and effective way to detect most precancerous changes in the cervix and most cervical cancers early, when they are nearly always curable. "Living With Cancer" is written by the staff of Norris Cotton Cancer Center, Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center. Send questions to Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center, Hanover, N.H. 0375b. i Gibson, Pfeiffer score in safe-sex survey Movieline Magazine surveyed 892 students at 24 universities to name the celebrities that they would most like to engage with in 'safe sex'. Michelle Pfeiffer and Mel GibsbrTwere the winners. Running second to Pfeiffer was Julia Roberts. Second-place winner Kevin Costner placed 10 votes behind Gibson. When asked to name the celebrities they would least like to have 'safe sex' with, students overwhelmingly named Roseanne Barr and John Candy. MADONNA'S BIGGEST PROBLEM: What's Madonna's most difficult problem? It's not worrying about her money-making empire, or the success of her next project or the men in her life. "My big problem is getting to sleep at night," she says. "I have insomnia. I went to a sleep clinic at UCLA once, and the doctor says I have an overactive adrenal gland." 'DALLAS' INFLUENCE: Hanging up his 10-gallon hat after 13 years of Dallas (last episode is 9 p.m. Friday", Channels 9, 7) Larry Ilagman insists the weekly tales might actually have helped topple the Eastern bloc. "I think the opulence, the consumerism, the food, the H i -V ... . i 'flap frtMv1 K hi i Mel Gibson Michelle Pfeiffer . . . edges out Costner . . . outpolls Roberts cars made (people) want more than their governments provided them," Hagman said. MYSTERIES SOLVED: NBC's Unsolved Mysteries assisted in solving three of the four cases featured on its Wednesday's broadcast. Within hours of the telecast, Gregory Richard Barker, a fugitive wanted for murder, was apprehended in Phoenix, Ariz. Thirty minutes after the program spotlighted Jeri Graves's search for her biological parents, a woman claiming to be Jeri's mother called. Graves was subsequently reunited with her mother. Only hours after the broadcast another woman's 10-year search for her biological father ended. Duncan Gilmore, 54, of South Carolina, seeing himself profiled on national television, contacted the Unsolved Mysteries Telecenter. Married Singer Bonnie Raitt and actor Michael O'Keefe, engaged since Christmas day, were married Sunday in a tiny interdenominational church in Tarrytown, N.Y., near O'Keefe's boyhood home. Raitt's father, Broadway star John Raitt, sang "The Girl That I Marry" and "My Little Girl." Died A.B. Guthrie Jr., 90, who won a Pulitzer Prize as one of the century's leading Western historical novelists, died Friday at his home at Choteau, Mont. Died Jean-Baptiste Cerrone, 79, who managed several major dance companies, including the Ballet Russe of Monte Carlo and the American Ballet Theater, died Wednesday in Pompano Beach, Fla. Purchased Actor Emilio Estevez shelled out $2.2 million for a 4,000-square-foot, four-bedroom spread to call his own on Malibu's celebrity-soaked Broad Beach. D Birthdays Singer Willie Nelson is 58 today. Actress Jill Clayburgh is 47. Nina Petites. . . Shaped to Flatter the Petite Fuchsia, red, jade. The fashion "hot" colors of summer in a 2-pc. fitted jacket dress that aims to show off a tiny waist. Slim, straight skirt, jacket with silver button closure. Rayon and acetate bengaline for sizes 2-12. Made in the U.S.A. $94 McAlpin's better petite dresses, all stores phone 352-4211 i wmf mimmm. Ill r 'IMiBl 1 J mS it i ! I i

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