Logansport Pharos-Tribune from Logansport, Indiana on May 17, 1894 · Page 7
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Logansport Pharos-Tribune from Logansport, Indiana · Page 7

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Logansport, Indiana
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Thursday, May 17, 1894
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Page 7
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P DWAY'S SE»BY The most oeml-.i Hiid nnffl P'ltn Remedy !n the -world that insturifly itopti th« most exr.rtioiatiuft P"' 1 ^. It is truly the grunt CONQUEROR OP PAIN »ad hut* dotin more froed th»r; i;ny known remedy. FOR SPRAINS, BRUISES, MACK- ACHE, PAIN IN THE CHEST OR SIDE, HEADACHE. TOOTHACHE, OR AN Y OTH ER EXT ER.NAL PAIN, » few applications rubbed on by 'he hand net Hke magic cftusiiij; tbe pain to 1ndt.Htit.ly stop, CUKE? AND PREVENTS, Colds, Coughs, Sore Throat, Inflammation, Bronchitis Pneumonia, Asthma, Difficult Breathing, Influenza, Heartfelt, Sciatica, Lintbi*o, 8n«m«K of tho Joint*, Film In Back, Ghent or Limb*. Tire application ot the READT RELIEF to the part OT partuwhsre difficulty oj pain exist* will »SoM ease and comfort. ALL INTERNAL PAINS. PAINS IN BOWELS or STOMACH, CRAMPS, SOUR STOMACH, NAUSEA, VOMITING, HEARTBURN, NERVOUSNESS, SLEEPLESSNESS, SICK HEADACHE, DIAR- RHCEA, COLIC, FLATULENCY, FAINTING SPELLS are relieved Instantly and quickly cured by taking Internally a half to a teaspoonful of Ready Relief in half teaepoonful of water. MALARIA. Chills and Fever, Fever and Ague Conquered. There !• not a remedial agent In the world that •rill cnre Fever and Agu» and all other Malnrloos, Blllotu, and other Fevers, aided bj Kadwny'a Pllla, so quickly aa Railway'* Beady Relief, Price 50C per bottle. Sold by drueglsts, DADWAY'S J* PILLS, for tk« rnre or til dlsortlern of the STOS- MH, IITEK. BOWK18. KIDNDIS, BLADDER, HEBVOKS DISK,»HES. HEADACHE, COSSTIi'i- TIOJ COSTtVEXJISS, INDIGESTION. WYSPEP. IA, BIHOUSJTESS, FEVEK, ISFlAJIMATieS OF THE BOWELS, PILES, mid »ll ilernnjre- •»t> of the Internal Vlxcera, I'orrlj TOgntaMe OBtalalnir no mercury, mlntnln or DKLKTE- BIOV8 IIHIH1S. Ptlw 36 cents per boi. Sold bj all Druggists. BADWAY ft CO., 32 -Warren St., N. Y. HP-Be »ore and tun for KADWAY'S, rlndapo of tn.T» '• •• DAYS. Cant roai niaemwa. faJUng !«n»ly SS .to caiVVd by part aou'.oi.ftlvel »lKor andili. toWrnokinorjpani.and-«il«My Bat rarely JMtorei :SSte^i^»jK?^^^ , Wbole»»l» Dnj«('«k.J<". Fourt» Si., Mi» Agent (or ule o( INJMF? SOLD by ' ., UXJANSPORV, Catarrh COLD IN THE HEAD r«»Iv»« hnrtrrtli it ont tp|HI«stlon ol Blrney'i Catarrh Powdw . FATWRR CIARK K, H*i'y to tho IK. Bev. Bishop of Columbus, -Ohio, wrltiio; „,.„_.,,. uba -!f s-ffaj^^r7- woriht tht rtmtJr <° h«'P at " n wl "> "* n" 1 """'' M. E. Fraricsos, Custodian V. S. Appraiser 9 Storey c«u«d»«nli««. _ — _ i. soc. Birney Catarrhal Powder Co. 1J08 MASONIC TEMPLE, CHICAGO. Ml •T.rrwli«'« b l r «ngftatiori«ri(!t b •. (Hold DT P. ». KMillns. ]. L. Button and Bta Fl»h«r, Lo«an»port. Ind. and vleor Mitor»iVarIco<!«l« am ruu*K.i>rafi'««.i*«» n « K>rt ' lt><1Un *WANTED. Women, Younsr and Old, Who Want Department Clerkships. They Are Even More VorilitcQt Thun Male Ofllco-Sooltrm— A Unntl Joke on Kol>ort 1'ortor— In (l of "Influt'injo." pO I b •o Ct iLABD ™. BreekenrMg* o«toteB«*dbr«j* ot : Afe bt^l HUB. [Special WasbliiKtoii Lotior-l The most persistent and therefore the most tlisimreeiible otllco-scckcrs arc woraon, Whon u ludy multcs up her mind that she needs nn ofllco, and oug'ht to Imve it, slio also, by unconscious cuivhrution, makes up her mind to worry the life ont of a poor congressman, almost as certainly and effectively as a terrier worries the life; out of a rat. The census ofllee has naturally been most besieged by women place-hunters ever sinee it was organized, because its employes are not appointed under the civil-service law. It has been observed that all persons in petticoats have a horror of competitive examinations. Arithmetic is a hopeless pu/.zle to nearly all applicants of their sox. Hut 1 have noticed that in nearly every case where it was really desired by influential men the examinations were successfully passed. That is to say, if the regular examination was a failure, a special "expert" examination was (jivoii, and tho applicant always passed it. The force of the census olHce was reduced upon several occasions, and it will be soon again. Such occurrences have been invariably followed by a batch of marriages. Of course these matches have been the result of some love-making 1 ; but when 1 have read the weddiup notices in the newspapers the thought has come to me, whether it be right or not. that tho weddings have been, brought about more by reason of necessity on the part of the girls, than for real, deep-seated love. In such an event, ninety-nine per cent, of the marriages are but the commencement of suits for divorce, or of miserable lives. Of course, where so many hundreds of youiiu people have been thrown tog-other some sincere attachments are bound to follow; but, while indulging in flirtation with the male clerks, the girls not uncommonly would keep on tho lookout for the better opportun ities in the matrimonial field. In numerous instances they would have several such ofllee beaux dangling while waiting for something more eligible to turn up. This plan they could afford to pursue so long as they were rendered independent by their own employment; but when discharge seemed imminent they would promptly make a selection from the available husbands at hand. And it is fair to presume that some of those marriages have turned out well. When lion. Ilobert P. Porter was superintendent of the census a good story was told on him. It seemed that on one occasion Superintendent 1'orter received the resignation of a girl who joyfully informed him that she- was going away to be married. .She wan anxious that he should give her a letter of commendation, which ho did very amiably, notwithstanding the fact that she had not been a capable clerk. Subsequently her husband turned out a brute, and within three months sho got a divorce in Chicago. Then slio came back to Washington and compelled the reluctant Mr. Vorter, on the strength of his own letter, to take her into service again. Moreover, she hold her place long after Porter censed to be superintendent; for she placed his letter on file among- her papers of indorsement, and Porter's successor would not disturb her. As an act of SENDING IN HEB CARD. official courtesy, he could not very well afford to discharge the only lady who had Porter's recommendation on file, ^though she was notably incompetent. The ladies who come to Washington seeking office invariably make the plea of poverty. When one of them reaches the capitol and sends her card in to seo her representative, she is loaded with a speech which she fires at the statesman as soon as he responds to her summons. She says: "Here I am, stranded. I haven't money to buy a meal of victuals, or to get a place to sleep tonight. You must get me o place right away." The stories of these office- seekers may bo true, and usually they are true. Either they are lone and lorn or else they have large families wholly dependent on them for support. Their political honesty is not of the highest. Whichever party is in power they are on that sid.o. At least half a dozen female applicants for places in the treasury, after trying to fascinate Secretary Carlisle with Bmtl«s and finery, have dressed themselves in mourning and come back a few days later in tears. Meanwhile, according to their plea, they have lost their husbands or fathers, and are thus deprived of means. One young lady brought a congressman with her to persuade Mr. Carlisle to retain her in her place. Belntr con- vinced that this Influence would secure whati'she wanted she war babbling 1 over with good .spirits. Tho secretary replied that he would try to keep her but it was possible that she might be one of the employes whom it was necessary to drop for lock of appropriations. This disposed of the fair applicant, and the secretary of the treasury turned away from her tears and protestations to attend to other business. This story became known to other cabinet officers, and they adopted the expressions of .Mr. Carlisle as their own and told hundreds of fair applicants the same story, thus disposing of them in very short order. A great many ladies seek office and pretend to be needy, when as a matter of fact they are merely ambitious to dress well and buy pretty things. It is well known hero that very many girls who have good homes, with fathers of moderate but sufficient Income to take care of their families reasonably well, go office-seeking and plead poverty, solely in order to have money with which to take annual trips to seaside or mountain. Moreover, there are respectable ladles, daughters of good families, who go after con : gressmen at the capitol, pleading dire necessity, who spend lifetimes of regret for their misdirection. There is a very slight step from a little wrongdoing to a great wrongdoing; and SHE IS OOIN'O TODE ItAHIU^D.. young ladies who run after alleged statesmen for the improper purpose of getting an office which they do not really noed frequently take that step. The congressmen realize this fact, and some of them are mean enough to take advantage of it. There is one side of the ofilce-scek- ing business which is really pathetic. The old hall of representatives, which is now -used as a semi-art gallery, whercin,the statues of famous states* men are placed by the various states, lias its daily history of many lives. Speaker Heed converted one corner of this room into a ladies' reception room. During the sessions of congress women in all stages of need sit day after day, sending their cards to members of the house whose influence they are anxious to obtain. The doorkeepers come back with statements, often false, to the effect that tho representative is "not present to-day" or "ont of his seat." Some congressmen send word to "come to-morrow," merely for the purpose of putting oil the visitors, who, lacking care fare, trudge wearily home to their boarding places, to return again and again in pursuit of their hopeless quest. In the public reception room of tho senate similar scenes are enacted. but the senators usually treat the women better. They tell them frankly whether they can or cannot get places for them instead of keeping them in fruitless suspense. The representatives, however, are less skilled in diplomacy, or else are afraid to offend some family in their districts, and when they cannot get offices for these applicants they dodge them. Very often ladles go to tho houRC galleries, sit there looking for their representatives until they appear, and then hasten to the reception room, send in their cards, and receive the information from the messengers or pages that "he was here for a moment, but he had gone uptown again." .The ladies return to the galleries and look down upon the members there and see their representatives chatting with a follow member, or writing letters at their desks. Many a woman under these circumstances is moved to tears and leaves the capita] sobbing aloud. It is thus made plain to her that her statesman friend wants nothing to do with her, and will do nothing for her. During and immediately after tho war very many women of improper behavior found places in the executive departments. This fact became notorious, and thousands of people until this day believe that Indies in the departments are no better than they should be. But this is an erroneous impression. The percentage of improperly- behaved women in the departments is very small. As soon as their character ia made known, and it always is, they are dismissed, no matter who indorses them, _ SMITH D. FBY. No Soft Snnp There. As the seasoned tramp and the green one passed along the rood, they observed a handsome, hospitable-looking home resting peacefully in the quiet shade. 'Git on to it, Cully," exclaimed the green one, his eyes sparkling in anticipation; "that's the kind of a place where we git a sost snap." "Do we? You think vne do, do you?" replied the seasoned one, scornfully. 'Well, you go in and try it, I've been. on in, but you'd better take a ranlic jack along to pry the bull yap's jaws open with unless you want So tote him around with you till ho gits ripe and falls oft."— Wasp. Go He {after a lengthy pause) — Haven't you got a hew servant girl? She— Yea. What made you gueu? He— She told me you were in.— Truth, ONLY A DACHSHUND. Bat It Gave Two Men »n Unpliwunt Early Mornlnv Sarprlno. Two men came oat of a Turkish bath establishment in Twenty-eight! street the father morning and started to walk up Broadway. Their conver sation was lu tlie remorseful vein thai is likely to come on the morning after and there was more or less talk o "last night," "bottles" and "too mud for any man." At Twenty-ninth strec' the pair stopped, and one of them scratched a match against the lamp post on the corner. As he brought i light to the cigarette between his lips he glanced up mechanically at a house opposite. Instantly the match fel' from his hands, his jaw dropped anc the cigarette slipped to the ground He grew as white as his shirt, and clutching at his companion's arm, seized it in a grasp like a vise. ".Say, old man," he began, so slowly that every word sounded as if it were spoken only after long deliberation, "say, old fellow—do—you—see—anything—up—there?" "Where? What in thunder hasstruck you, anyhow?" sputtered the other whose norvos were not in a condition to stand any tt'ining. "There, on the third story. Look, it's moving. The other looked up. At the thiru story of the hotel a narrow ledge less than a foot in breadth runs around the building on a level with the windows. There was undeniably something mov ing along the ledge. It was about three feet long and reddish-brown in color. It had a long, narrow body, and a pair of crumpled front legs hardly four inches long. A thin, pointef nose stuck out from between the long, silky ears. "Yes. I see it" At these words an expression of delighted relief sped over the countenance Of the man who had spoken first but the joy went out of his face again when his companion exclaimed sententiously: "Cat!" The'first speaker gathered strength enough to cross the street. He leaned against a store opposite the hotel, and, standing- ns immovable as if lie were part of the building, stared up at the third floor of the hotel., The other man followed him, lie was trying hard to remember if he had ever before seen a eat quite like this one, and to save his life he couldn't recall one. II seemed a bit queer, so he leaned against the store by his friend, and without a word the two men stared up before them. > They saw the animal move deliberately along the narrow ledge the en- tire'length of the building. When it had readied the end the two watchers expected that it would step off into the air and melt away. It rlid nothingof the kind. It turned us readily in the narrow space as though it were in the center of Madison square. Its long body moved with snaky sinuousness, and ib began the trip along the ledge almost at a trot. The men continued to stare up at it with a sense of growing-relief that was apparent on their faces.. Just at this juncture a woman appeared at one of the windows of the hotel. It was the one in front of which the animal had been standing. She leaned out Mid looked down to the street with an expression of distracted apprehension. She peered down anxiously to the sidewalk in every direction." When she was about to leave the window apparently a familiar sound attracted her attention. She looked to the left, and her eyes fell on the dog, wagging its tail and running carelessly along the ledge. A false step would have thrown him to the ground. He was a valuable dachshund, so finely bred that his exaggerated ugliness was ridiculous. Every point that made him unlike any other dog in the world was perfect The U>ng, thin body, the stumpy crooked 'legs, and the pointed nosei were all faultless examples of this per verted species of dogs' best points Heart the window the animal halteA in evident fear of punishment. The woman coaxed, and ho advanced within reach of her arm. With a look of delight, she seized him, and, turning from the window, disappeared from view with the dog in her arms. The two watchers on the sidewalk had passed through varying emotions while the dog was promenading* on the ledge. There was almost terror in the first man's tone when he spoke first and he was tho more embarrasaed of the two men when the woman and dog had disappeared. "It's on me," ho said.—N, Y. Sun. Merely » Matter of Form. Dentist—I'm afraid it's too late to save that tooth, miss. It will have to !ome o\it. Self-Possessed Young Woman— Is the iorresponding tooth on the opposite iide a sound one? "Perfectly." "No probability that it will get to aching?" •'None whatever." v "And this one that's aching—is it likely to keep my jaw swelled up as it does now?" "It is." "Then take it out, doctor. It destroys ;he symmetry of my face."—Chicago Tribune. ' How Sne Worked flobby. 'Bobby is attending to his piano lessons very faithfully of late," said that youth's uncle. "Yes," replied his mother. "I don't have any trouble with him about them now." "How did you manage It?" "Some of the lffhbors complained of the noise his exercises made, and I told him about t. Now he thinks it's fun to practice." DECULIAR In combination, pro. ' portion and preparation of ingredi- nts, Hood's Suruparilla possesses great caretfve nloo* .Von should TRY IT. LAtJGHS ALL THE TIME. A Man Whose Hilarity IB Likely to Oauso His Death. Stranoro Norvmi. Affliction — T.n»e>>ter Aloro Blttnr Than T«!ar»—SI!tfhtoat Facial Movement Produce! Fit* of Merriment. The first case publicly treated of a singular malady that has considerable of the grotesque associated with it. as well as more or less discomfort to the unhappy victim, has just been ex perienced in one of the prominent New York hospitals. The study of the nervous system al ways furnkshes numberless surprise; to the student, and while this particu lar phase has been encountered fro qucntly elsewhere, it is thought the instance that has just been treated is the first example in New York city. Certain nervous weaknesses affect the muscles about the mouth and produce what is known as an inextinguish able laugh; a laugh that would arouse jealousy among tho gods of Olympus. In a person so afflicted no muscular movement of the face is possible with out producing the most violent and apparently hearty laughter. Ask of such a one the simplest question and the face will be at onco convulsed with uncontrollable mirth: the wave will start at the corners of the Hps. where the usual pleasant twitching of the muscles that accorapnnies the appreciation of a good tiling will be noticed: tho mouth will then open to its greatest capacity and the eyes will be closed most genuinely. Before the question is answered that has given rise to all this outburst the head will be thrown back and tho entire body rncUed with a spasm that in the normal individual indicates unlimited satisfaction. In the case under consideration the man, while being under treatment for this annoying peculiarity, was visited by a member of his family, who told him of the death of a child, upon which tho man ox claimed: "Oh, that is very sad!" and lit once l>ur=t fnrtll rnto a terrible fix- I 1. — HEGIXSISO TO SAY "OOOI> M 2. — FIXISIHSO "GOOD MOUSING." plosion of lanphtcr, while no doubt he felt inclined and was disposed to weep. In an interview with thu victim of this unhappy joyousnesg; the man exclaimed that the weakness hud boon gradually growing 1 upon him. and that he 'had been forced, with its growth, to sacrifice all tho enjoyments and amusements that formerly had made life agreeable to him; he said he had very reluctantly been compelled to give np poing- to the theater, because the slightest emotion felt by him at anything transpiring upon the stage broufrht on such violent laughter that he attracted the attention of everyone present, and it had finally reached the stag-e when all his efforts were bent on making his mind an absolute and entire blank, nnd he endeavored to pass the time without thinking, which, of course, being 1 impossible, he was kept in a state of laughter almost his entire later life. In talking with a phys/cian of the hospital on the subject it was learned that an accident will produce this nervous condition, and he had come in contact with the ca-so of a woman being treated in a hospital somewhere in. Europe, who was paraly?x:d over her entire body, but whose face still retained its sensitiveness, and the particular nerve which controlled its movements was Bupersensitive to the same extent as that of the man described. The result of accidents upon the nervous sys- is often upique, and while thispar- ;icular effect is rarely produced, yet ,t has been of some recurrence, and is as remarkable in its way as was the .e happening- a few days ago out west, where a man being run over by a railroad train, which lacerated his legs •cry terribly, was thereby rendered absolutely impervious to any sensation of pain by the complete paralyxation of every nerve in his body, and he calmly ,moked a pipe and looked on indifferently while the surgeons amputated lis limbs, and otherwise performed vhat would generally be an insupport- ,ble operation. How these effects are produced is a subject too complex for newspaper discussion, but the experience of this hospital patient demonstrates that while aughter may be the most delightful attribute of human nature, it can become a source of cruel torment. Wanted Company. "Hungry, I guess?" said 'the sharp- 'aced woman, as she opened the door ust a little bit. 'W'y. no," answered Mr. Dismal )awson;."I've plum forgot how to be lungry. But I'm mighty lonesome." V "LonesomeV" "M'hm. You sec, I hain't had noth- ng toeat for so long that I got so thin can't cast no shadder, and yon ain't no idear how much company a man's bidder ia to him while he is travellin 1 along the road." — Indianapolis Jonr- Bomkoc* Gone.. Hlll«— Why Is ft that they always li»ve bachelors respond to the toast 'Woman, lovely woman?" Hulls— Mwried men know bitter,— Troth. Where Disease Is Bred. When a scwcr is clogged or choked up the accumulations poison tlie atmosphere in its vicinity and bring about the condiiions that breed disease. We all know that in time of pestilence every precaution is taken. not only to keep iho sewers free and open, but even to remove all decaying matter from the community. The danger of infection i* thus minimized. How few of us \vfio pay taxes for the maintenance of s.initsry bureaus for the public health think of nn tqual requirement for our individual welfare. The alimentary canal is the great sewer of the htim.m syrtcni. When that is dammed i:p conditions are generated which inviiu fevers and such disrascs as our nature inciir.es to. Constipation is a clogging of the natural drains, an.! nc.-irly everything we stiller from follows this condition. It will not do merely to clear the drains from time to time. We must repair and improve the working power of the machinery -.viio'-c function it is to perform this work. Ssi»ltll'« Bl!e Bcnns uifx-r from pills in that they arc more than a mere cathartic They not only stimulate sluprgish bowels and clear the sysicm of all diseasc-brceilin£ m;ntcr t bnt they remedy the evil complained of; they restore power and freedom of operation to the secreting organs, and they tone up and strengthen :he entire system. They are c:.5y and soothing in action. Try them. 25 tts. a bottle. 5 bottles, Si.oo. T-'or sale by druggists and medicine (kalers throughout the country, or by mail, postpaid, on receipt of price. Abk for the "Small Size" (green wrapper or cartoon). Take No Substitute foe Bile Beans. a HAIR GROWER W. H. PORTER, Dnurgist theLill8"and never excefi- ed. '"Tried, and proven " is the verdict of millions, S immons Liver Eego- lator is tne only Liver and Kidney medicine to which can pm your cure. A mild laxative, and purely vegetable, acting directly and Kidneys. Try it. Sold ty all Druggists in Liquid, or in Powder to be taken dry or madeintoa tea. Th» KIn« of tlvrr Medlclnci. "I have nued yourSimmoiisLivcrReeOr IMor. ».nd can oouncleuckiusly say It It til* klncof all liver medicines, 1 consider It *, MMlcIno cheit In Itaelr.—Q«o. W. JACK•OK, Taoorna, WMuIugtoa. ' M-BVKRT PACKAGB-W

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