Clipped From The Laredo Times

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Clipped by Aimevin

 - Happy hour By ART BUCHWALD It was Happy Hour at...
Happy hour By ART BUCHWALD It was Happy Hour at the OK Corral Saloon on Capitol Hill. The place was jammed with its usual 5 o'clock crowd when the tall lobbyist with the white hat strode to the bar and said, "Drinks on the house for everybody." We filled up and then turned to the stranger. "And what victory might we be toasting? " someone asked. "Congress just said goodbye to the 1968 Gun Control Act. I'm with the National Hair-Trigger Association, and this is a great day For my people." "I didn't know the hair-trigger manufacturers had their own lobby." "Ah yes. We've always had a strong interest in a weak gun law. The easier it is to buy guns the more hair-triggers we're going to sell. I wras given a million dollars to make sure the people's representatives would vote the American way. Fill up, everybody. This is the last of my money." He started to sing, 'A gun for me and a gun for you. And a gun to shoot your neighbor, too/' All of us have seen lobbyists celebrate when they got a bill through, but it was nothing compared to this. "How come the police departments were against you people weakening the gun bill?" Tom the bartender asked. The stranger said, "Cops don't know anything about guns. All they run up against are the criminal elements who use weapons to commit crimes. They never see the law-abiding people who buy their handguns to hunt and fish." "Fish?" "Don't telt me you never shot a fish with a .38"' The important thing to remember is that under the old law you couldn't even bring a gun from one state to another. Dealers were responsible for keeping records of who bought handguns and ammunition. Do yen know what this meant for thousands of gun shop owners?" "What?" "It meant PAPERWORK. These good merchants used to have to stay up all night long trying to remember who bought a gun and who bought ammunition. We got all that red tape eliminated and from here on out you're going to see a boom in the safe of every type of firearm. Drink up. friends, the Constitution is alive and well in the hair-trigger lobby. " "How did you get Congress to knuckle under to a weak gun control law?" The stranger winked. "Let's say we just sent the legislators a message. If they didn't vote to reform the 1968 act we would send our people into their districts and riddle them with innuendos. On the other hand, if they promised to be good boys and support us we would make a donation to their favorite political charity One more for the road. men. Then 1 must make the rounds of the halls of Congress to drop some goodies on those who backed our bill, and mark a red X on the doors of those who lost their nerve." The man plunked $1,000 on the bar. I raised my glass "To good sport," I said. Wc drank. Someone shouted, "Death to all gun laws." The stranger w?.sn7t drinking. He said, "We can't have that. The threat of stronger gun control bills keeps the National Hair-Trigger Association alive. Our members would refuse to provide us with money if they thought the battle was all over." "And how do you keep (he threat going?" I asked. "By putting out the word to our members that the law enforcement people are mad as hell at us and aren't going to take it anymore." The man exited through the swinging doors. "Who was that stranger who was just here?" someone asked. "That was no stranger," the bartender replied. "That was the leader of thePAC." Los Angeles Times Syndicate

Clipped from
  1. The Laredo Times,
  2. 05 Dec 1896, Sat,
  3. Page 2

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  • Clipped by Aimevin – 08 Jun 2013

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