Logansport Pharos-Tribune from Logansport, Indiana • Page 13

Pharos-Tribune, Logansport, Indiana, Friday, January 10, 1992 Page B5 Communication Is Key In Battle Of Sexes 1 mn A a linnm-tnnt issue, for their behavior and thev to Dear Ann Landers: As a mother of sons, I have always felt a need to discuss issues from a woman's viewpoint. I have tried to point out to my boys that men must speak up to change the abuse done women. Your recent column about date rape appeared during a time of heartbreak for our family. The young man who wrote to you said women should be careful about giving mixed signals, thai heavy petting gives a guy the wrong idea and makes it difficult for him to know what the woman really wants. He is absolutely correct and 1 hope your readers will listen to him.

My son is a very sensitive, caring person. We were stunned when he was awakened by the police at 6:30 a.m., read his rights, put in a police car, taken to the station and questioned for four hours. He had been with a girl the night before but was not guilty of date rape. Ann Landers Advice Although the police told him he would be informed within a week whether or not charges would be filed, our family was forced to live in agony for two and a half months. A lot Of praying was the only thing that helped us face each day.

Because our son plays a college sport, he lived in fear of seeing his picture in the paper along with the accusation. Unfortunately, people in the public eye receive a disproportionate amount of press coverage even when there is no legal charge, merely an accusation. Once an accusation is made, people don't remember later on that the charges were dropped. In my son's case, the girl did not press charges, but 1 cannot describe the sleepless nights and the hell we went through until the matter was resolved. Because so many men have been getting away with date rape, women's groups have correctly made this an important issue.

Unfortunately, I feel it is going to produce a backlash against men. If my son could be unjustly accused it must be happening to many other men as well. Women have a responsibility to communicate in clear and unmistakable language what they want and what they do NOT want. This is why dating couples need to watch alcohol consumption. Liquor breaks down resistance and can distort or block out memory.

Too often, a woman wakes up the next morning and blames the male for acting inappropriately when she failed to communicate explicitly what behavior was appropriate and what was not. The message must be clearly understood with no doubt about the intent. I am not talking about out- and-out date rape, which happens far too frequently. As mothers, we must accept the obligation to discuss this subject with our daughters and sons in order to prevent what happened in our family. I hope women's groups everywhere will include this subject in their programs to educate.

Both sexes need to accept responsibility for their behavior and they must let one another know where they want the lines of intimacy drawn. Sign nle Any Family, Anywhere Dear Anywhere: Thanks for writing. I have heard from a great many mothers of daughters but very few mothers of sons have responded. If a. woman sends mixed messages, it is best that the man err on the side of caution.

Unfortunately, too many women aren't sure themselves exactly how far they want to go and change their minds (from yes to no) too far down the road. Gem of the Day (Credit Franklin Jones): A bargain is something you will never use purchased at a price vou were unable to resist. Lonesome? Take charge of your life and turn it around. Write for Ann Landers' new booklet. "How to Make Friends and Stop Being Lonely." Send a self-addressed, long, business-size envelope and a check or money order for $4.15 (this includes postage and handling) to: Friends, do Ann Landers.

P.O. Box 11562. Chicago, 60611-0562. What teaks Dear Heloise: Some time ago you had an article on what to do for double-paned windows that sweat. I failed to make a note of this and don't remember what to pui on ihe window.

Could you please help me? J.A. Miller, Sulphur. La. Dear Reader: If you are fortunate enough to be able to reach the inner side of the glass panes (not all double-paned svindows can be wiped clean on the inside), wipe the condensation off and dry the window. To help prevent the moisture from sticking to the glass in the future, use a dry cloth 10 put a small amount of undiluted liquid shampoo HeioBse Household Hints on the inner glass.

Then just wipe it clean. Heloise SMALL HOLES Dear Heloise: To cover small holes in my walls made by nails or push pins, I use a slick of white chalk. I just rub chalk over the hole and brush away any excess dust. It works like magic. Linda, Jacksonville, Fla.

PAINTED CARPET Dear Heloise: Please help! My toddler spilled a fourth of a pint of'black paint on our light-brown carpet. I'd advice you may have. Kim Hauersperger, San Bemadino, Calif. Dear Reader: I spoke with authorities at the Association of Specialists in Cleaning and Restoration (ASCR) and that you need lo have a professional check your carpet. The paint has probably soaked into the backing and padding and any attempt you make to remove it is'merely going to pull the paint from there to Ihe surface.

The professional may be able to remove it, however. Heloise DECORATED BATHROOM Dear Heloise: I recently redecorated my bathroom in a Southwestern motif and wanted the liquid soap dispenser to match. It was impossible to find one, so 1 came up with the idea of cutting a rectangle from a leftover piece of the new wallpaper (slightly larger than the label on the bottle) and applying it over the label. It worked beautifully and everyone wants to know where I found a soap bottle to match my wallpaper exactly. Darlene Durr.

Eagle Point, Ore. Dear Reader: You may start a whole new decorating trend. Sure like your idea. Heloise PAINTED DOORKNOBS Dear Heloise: To avoid get- lins paint on the doorknob, 1 smear it with petroleum jelly before I paint the door. It has saved me a lot of time and I don't have to be as careful painting because I know I can quickly wipe the knobs clean.

Andy Oklahoma City, Okla. SEND A GREAT HINT TO: Heloise PO Box 795000 San Antonio TX 78279 Joan Jett Really Does Love Rock 'N' Roll r-, I Ifilt I'CmeiYH By Dan DeLuca Knight-Ridder Newspapers She really does love rock roll. Talk 10 Joan Jctt on the telephone and you can't miss it. It's the voice of a fan. She's going on about the young bands she's been listening to: "I'm a huge fan of the Replacements.

I really like Jane's Addiction, but now they broke up. I like the Nirvana record, but everybody seems to like that. And I just got turned on to this band Fugax.i from D.C. They're a great band," Then there arc the bands lhat lit her rock fire: "1 think the first single 1 ever bought was "All Right Now' (a 1970 hit by British hard-rock group Free). There was all that stuff thai was on the radio then Hendrix, Zeppelin.

T-Rex. I had a big crush on Marc Bolan for a while. I can remember getting into an argument with my mother about a Zeppelin song. I think it was 'Whole Lotta There's this part with all these weird noises, and we were arguing about whether it was music or noi. And then my brolher agreed with her.

The two of them made me so mad." And then there's the part that Jett loves best, what she's been doing now for more than half of her 31 years hitting the road. "I like getting nervous that's what you live for You need to be on your toes. You've got to realize you're lucky to be out there playing for people. It's an honor to do it." Jett and her band, the have been playing in more intimate confines lately than they're used to. Jett's new album, "Notorious" has yet to take off commercially, and the group is performing in clubs and small theaters this tour.

That doesn't seem lo bother Jett. "I would prefer to play in a iheater. rather than a big arena where it's so cold you have to keep your coat on for the whole show. I mean, it's nice to hear 20,000 people screaming. It's a rush.

But I like to get up close to the people. In a small place, everybody can see you, and you can see them. They're right in yo'ur face." Jetl takes the fan-performer social contract seriously. She keeps a log of people who write to her. and occasionally calls one when she's in their city.

She estimates that in a good year, she plays 300 or so shows an outrageously high number for an established yet still- young act. "We like being thorough," she says. "We'll play seven cities in Iowa. We don't just go in and play the biggest place and leave. And we 50 around the world to places that are not thought of as regular markets for rock roll." The band opened the "Notorious" tour in Bangkok.

"We've played Malaysia, Panama, the Dominican Republic, Lapland. (We played) East Germany way, way back in 1982, when the Cold War was still very cold." Jett is a native Philadelphian. Her father was an insurance salesman, and the family moved around a lot. She lived in Pittsburgh: Erie. and Rockville.

before winding up in Southern California. When she was 15, Jen joined ihe Runaways, ihe all-girl band that also produced Lita Ford, who has "one on 10 a successful career playing lo teen-age boys' fantasies as a heavy-metal siren. The Runaways were largely discounted in their day as a marketing scheme of producer- Svengali Kim Fowlcy. but have since "gained respect for their influence on other all-female bands such as the Go-Gos and Bangles. They broke up in 197S.

"1 was very scared and depressed." J'ett remembers. "I was 18. and the only band I'd ever been in had broken up. It was like, 'See, we told you your band was a joke, and it really People probably weren't thinking that, but 1 thought they were. People thought girls weren't supposed to be in rock roll bands.

Like, 'You can be a groupie, but that's My argument was. 'If a woman can play in a symphony orchestra, she can play in a rock roll I think 1 scared a lot of people. You know, the black leather, the 'This girl hangs out with the ihe whole package. Nobody would touch me." In 1979, though. Jett met Kenny Laguna (a former member of the bubble-gum group 1910 Fruitgum Company), who began to manage her career.

"We became great friends. I was like. 'Nobody's nice to me. Sale Calendar Jan. 11-Joe June Hinkle Humphreys Jan.

11-Loyd Showley Estate Team Rosenbury Auctioneers Jan. 18-Jane Holte Isaacs Auctions 'Hook' Wins Box Office Ratings Race For Jan. 7 LOS ANGELES (AP) Here arc the top movie ticket sales Friday through Sunday according to Exhibitor Relations with distributor, weekend gross, number of theater screens, average per screen, total gross and number of weeks in release. Figures are based on a combination of actual receipts and studio projections where actual figures weren't immediately available. 1.

"Hook." TriStar, $11,5 million, 2,254 screens, $5,090 per screen, $82.1 million, four weeks. 2. "The Father of the Bride," $9 million. 1,588 screens, $5,679 per screen, $43.2 million, three weeks. 3.

"Beauty and the Beast," Disney, $8.8 million, 1,940 screens, $4,539 per screen, $82.5 million, eight weeks. 4. "The Prince of Tides," Columbia, $8.5 million, 1.412 screens, $6,024 per screen, $31.3 million, two weeks. 5. "The Last Boy Scout," Warner $7.1 million, 1,823 screens, $3,885 per screen, $43.8 million, four weeks.

6, "JFK," Warner $6.8 million, 1,164 screens, $5,862 per screen, $30.9 million, three weeks. 7. "Bugsy," TriStar, $5.4 million, 1,245 screens, $4,310 per screen, $25.3 million, four weeks. 8. "Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country," Paramount, $4.7 million, 2,147 screens, $2,180 per screen, $60.5 million, five weeks.

9. "The Addams Family," Paramount, $4.6 million, 1,974 screens, $2.321 per screen, $98.4 million, seven weeks. 10. "My Girl," Columbia, $3.8 million, 1,690 screens, $2,253 per screen, $48.8 million, six weeks. 321 E.

MARKET ST. 321 MARKET ST. C'i'fl'I'P ullieniaS DOWNTOWN LOGANSPORT fj i 11 753-4648 $2.00 ALL SHOWINGS BEFORE PM Beauty and FRI. SAT. 7:15,9:45 BEATTY AT 2:20, 4:50, BEMIKQ a T-P rf FRI: 4:45, HOOlt 7:10,9:35 DUSTIN HOFFMAN SAT: 12:00, ROBIN 2:20,4:45, WIUJAMS 7:10,9:35 EE Scott Bakula from T.V.'s Quantum Leap FRI: 5:00,7:00, 9:00 SAT: 1:00, Is Pain Under Lung An Intestinal Problem? Dear Dr.

Lamb: My husband is 31 and does not smoke. He has been complaining for over two years about a sharp pain just under his left lung. We have been to three different doctors our family doctor, a gastroenterolo- gist and a specialist in internal medicine. He has had lots of tests, such as an upper GI, blood work, ulcer tests and a scope down his throat into this stomach. Everything has come out negative.

All the doctors act as if it's all in his head. He says it hurts all the time, whether he's just eaten or if his stomach is empty. It hurts up higher when he lies flat on his back. He often has diarrhea and expels gas. Could you help us out? Is there something we are overlooking? Dear" Reader: Of course.

I can't tell from your letter just what is wrong, but a number of problems should be eliminated from the tests that were done. The diarrhea, gas and pain all suggest the irritable bowel syndrome. That is associated wilh spasms of the colon, and may cause diarrhea or constipation. The spasms may interfere with the release of gas. The colon bends under the diaphragm on both the right and left side.

Gas may be trapped in either place and cause pain under the edge of the ribs and may also cause backache. What causes an irritable bowel? Often it is impossible to find out. But diet is a frequent cause. Increased fiber intake may help, but it may also cause an increase in gas formation when first used. Certain foods may be the cause, including milk in those who have lactose intolerance and gluten found in cereals.

Coffee, tea and colas may make matters worse as well. Read Special Report 73, Irritable Bowel and Constipation, and Dr. Lamb Medicine perhaps some of the suggestions in managing such problems I have help your husband. Others who want this report can send S3 with a iong. stamped (52 cents), self-addressed envelope for it to The Health P.O.

Box 5537. Riverton, NJ 08077. Intolerance to milk or gluten or other foods and beverages will not be apparent with X-rays. It sounds like your husband's problem is in the colon, not the stomach. Dear Dr.

Lamb: About two months ago when I put my foot on the floor getting out of bed. I felt a very sharp stabbing pain in my left heel. 1 thought I had stepped on a sharp nail, the heel pain persisted, and I could hardly walk on that foot. I have ulcers and could not tolerate any kind of anti-inflammatory drugs. I'm 74 years of age and have always enjoyed outdoor activity and kept my weight in fairly good shape.

I hate to think about giving up golf- gardening and daily walks, but that darn heel still hurts so much when 1 step on that foot. Can you suggest any appliance ihat would give me some relief? I do not want to have an operation at my ase since I also have angina and heart problems. Dear Reader You probably have a heel spur, a bony spur on your heel bone. Or you could have inflammation of the muscles and tendon attachments to the heel bone, which is the usually the actual cause of the pain. It is doubtful thai you would need an operation.

If you did it could be done very simply. You might need a steroid injection. And your doctor might want to put a wedge under the edge of the inside of your foot to shift your weight to the outside of your foot rather than across your arch, or use a heel pad with a hole cut out if you have a spur. EASTWOOD Easl Mam Peru 473-6296 "FATHER OF THE BRIDE" SAT. EVE.

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