The Evening News from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania • Page 6

PAGE SIX THE EVENING NEWS, HARRISBURG, PENNA, TUESDAY, JANUARY 5, 1932 NewYorkDaybyDay JUST FOLKS By EDGAR A. GUEST Copyright. 1032 Edward Guest By O. O. McINTYRE By the McNaught Syndicate, Copyright, 1032 Inc.

Established February 13. 1917 published every evening except Sunday by THE PATRIOT COMPANY i. 11 North Market Square, Harrlsburg. Fa. MINE VANCE C.

McCOtlMICK President HENRY McCUKMICK Secretary and Treasurer RICHARD M. H. Vice-President and General Manaitei DEAN HOFFMAN V. HUMMEL, BERGHAUS. JR Manaiins Editor XTEW YORK, Jan.

5. This, second hand but from authoritative source, is the spookiest of all the wierd tales to which I have listened in the his town. It was Address communications to THIS EVENING NEWS Editorial. BusinesB or Circulation Departments, not. to individuals.

Call Bell S202. Sam number readies all departments. Sinsle copy, 2 cents: 10 cents per week delivered. Entered as second class matter at Harrlsburg P. 0.

GOLD Said I to Bud: "Time was I knew A rather curious fellow, who Possessed a gold mine at his door, With knowledge that the glistening ore Was close at hand, yet day by day He went upon his sullen way, And though rich nuggets caught his eye Indifferently he passed them by. "Strange man, who knew that gold was there, Yet to possess it didn't care! An hour a day with pick and spade, A richer man of him had made. The lode and vein were plain, to view, Their presence all his neighbors knew, Yet to the hour he came to die, Untouched he let that treasure lie." "That's aueer," said Bud. "Show gold to me, And after it at once I'll be!" "All right," I answered. 'Twixt ourselves, Just gaze upon these library shelves Well stored with boks.

Here you can find The product of some noble mind To serve your every time of need, All yours, if you'll take time to read!" TUESDAY, JANUARY 5, 1932 SCOTCHED HTHE speed with which the Count Commission turned down Commissioner J. Douglas M. Royals sussestion that in the interest of economy there be consideration of further consolidation of tax collection agencies in this city is disappointing. It is disappoint ing because apparently the other commissioners were THE ONCE OVER By II. I.

PHILLIPS Elmer Twitchell Considers Buying Labrador CopyrlRht, 1032, by Associated Newspapers unwilling even to discuss economy in government at a time when everybody else is compelled to economize Many years ago, the collection of school and city taxes was consolidated in the office of city treasurer. (Newfoundland, in financial straits, seeks to sell Labrador for $100,000,000. News item.) Dear Ed: The principle worked well in practice. In time agita tion developed to abolish the ward collectors of county Could you give me some more details about the offer to sell It looks to me like a good proposition. Conditions being what they are in the major countries, Labrador strikes me as having a spe tax in this city and have the job done by a single col cial appeal at this time.

In fact, I see big possibilities in developing told by a doctor Tate to a dinner party and was an excuse to the host for tardiness. His last patient of the day wa3 a strikingly beautiful lady. After conversational sparring she wanted to know if it were possible for one to bo innoculated with a germ that would result in death in a She had funds to carry on that long. It was her preference that the innoculation result in a malady that might be cured in case, for any reason, she changed her mind. She had thought of pernicious-anaemia.

The doctor, something of a psychiatrist, knew tho only hope was to find cause for such a mental state. By skillful questioning he learned suicide was constantly on her mind but she always balked at the last moment. She thought she wanted to die but was not quits sure. Hence the request for the innoculation of a lingering ailment that might be cured, if there was a change of heart. The reason for the suicide waa brought out slowly so slowly the interview was prolonged four hours.

The woman two years ago gave birth to a baby illegitimately. For three months the infant thrived then suddenly went into a decline and passed away. The undertaker was called, the body embalmed. In the middle of a sleepless night, the mother arose and went into the next room to see the baby in its coffin. As she bent over, she was horrified to see a bubble on the lips and a flutter eyelids.

According to her story the baby was revived and lived eight hours. It was, of course, the query of listeners: How could one live after being embalmed? The truth is which was just as shocking there are several authenticated cases. Sometimes it was faulty embalming but usually it was among morphine addicts. 'TpIIEY were discussing sly humor of other days in contrast to sprightly wise cracking of tho present. Some one recalled the t-vnoninnr cononpfl in a Aftivtr TWircnn it as a grand place for I'eopie-vVho-Want-To-Uet-Away From-lt-AU lector.

In other cities this plan was satisfactory and economic, yet the predecessors of the County Commis Please tell me where I can get blueprints, a prospectus and other details at once. In the first place, Labrador has a very small population and prac sion in this county refused to act until forced to do so Now Commissioner Royal proposed a conference tically nobody there has had any stock market losses. Consequently it would be a grand place to get away from those modem pests, the persons who at some time in any conversation tell what they might have to ascertain if the city treasurer would be willing to Deen worm ir tney naa sola August, iyyy. take over the collection of county tax in the city with savings for the people. That conference may have proved the plan impractical or City Treasurer Hall may There are only 4200 inhabitants in Labrador anyhow, fewer people than you can find on any American street corner these days squawking about business conditions.

About a fourth of these people are Eskimos, which cuts down immediately the number of people who might ask you to make a fourth at bridge. The more I think about this Labrador proposition, the more it appeals to me a3 a great buy. 9 I understand, too, that there is not a backgammon board in the country! Talk about a paradise! Labrador Js also free from interurban motor busses, motorcycle 19U by Metropolitan Newspaper Feature Service, Inc. Great Britain rights reserved. "As soon as I've mastered the Culbertson system I'm going to take up the Manchurian situa cops, liveried doormen, news reels, three-decker sandwiches, drug store lunches, professional reformers, bootleggers and young men who are always ringing the front bell and asking you to subscribe to three magazines and help send them through college.

have rejected the idea, but the idea never got that far. Commissioners Taylor and Lentz scotched the thing about as soon as it was made. Had Mr. Royal suggested the thing be done at once, the opposition of the other commissioners could be understood, but he made no such proposal. He asked only that the matter be discussed in conference, that a study be made of it and then action taken as that study suggested.

Thus we have the spectacle of public officials apparently loath to consider public economy which is a very annoying spectacle to be sure, especially in times like these. tion." To the best of my knowledge there is no income tax problem there. either. When the tax agent, if any, comes around you can slip into a Aunt Het JJy ROBERT QUILLEN UNCOMMON SENSE By JOHN BLAKE Fogs Copyright, 1032. by The Boll Syndicate.

Ino. fur coat and sealskin hood, grab a spear and pretend you are an Eskimo in search of a baby sea lion. (It is not hard to look like an Eskimo and one can get to smell like one, with a little patience and zeal.) No speeches from the American Senate or House ever reach Labra dor, even in the milder season, and as few big newspapers get into the interior, a resident there is saved from all those depressing Basle verdicts, German financial statements, ultimatums from Mr. Stimson, and the complete stock market reports. What I can't understand is why there isn a rush to buy Labrador regardless of terms.

VJJVllitlg Ulil 1 JV' (, IfcXfS. "am speech at the Brevoort. Looking out benignly at banquet guests he intoned: "When I look around at the poor old human race, I sometimes think it might haVe been a good thing if Noah and his family missed the boat." There was that time Bill Nyo and James Whitcomb Riley arrived after a fatiguing journey at the leading hotel in Frankfort, on' a joint lecture engagement. At the Anyhow, I am in the market for the place and any further data from you will be appreciated. Yours truly, TWITCHELL P.

S. I understand that by living in Labrador you can even be spared the details of the Culbertson-Lenz bridge match. A SLIGHT REVISION P. K. T.

says that in investment circles they are now sineine it. "The bonds bursting in air." A woman has been made city manager of Fort Pierce. Fla. One "I don't believe she went to the bridge party. I talked with her husband downtown after supper an' he didn't smell like sardines." Copy't, 1032.

Publishers' Syndicate of her first act3 will probably be an order for a round-up of all men who drop their cigar ashes promiscuously and fail to put away their HOME GROWN OARRISON SMITH, who recently resigned a junior partnership in the publishing firm of Cape and Smith, is starting his own publishing firm and plans to specialize in the literature of young American writers. The way in which he made this announcement is rather interesting. "I believe," he said, "that we're on the brink of something really great in American literature. Twelve years ago, when I first went into the publishing business, at least 50 per cent, of every American list was written by English authors. Now about three-quarters of the average list is the work of American writers." There will be plenty of people to share in Mr.

Smith's optimism. A surer note, a wider viewpoint, have been apparent in home grown literature during the past decade. Unless all signs fail, we are due to be getting some uncommonly good books from American writers during the next few years. snaving uungs. REDUCING OVER-EMPHASIS Dr.

Mary E. Woolley urges peace by education. One of the first steps should be the dropping of the professional war coaches and restoration of the amateur standard. A young friend of mine told me the other day about some experiments he had been making with steel rails. By means of electricity it is now possible to examine rails for flaws before they are laid, and thus greatly to reduce the chance of serious accident on account of hidden defects.

What is now being done with rails will soon be done with structural steel and all metal which goes into service where not only strength, but lasting strength is required. I remember in my childhood that when a train came into a station a man who had been waiting there with a hammer in his hand walked along the platform and tapped each wheel to ascertain whether or not there were any cracks in the wheel. That was the best test known then, but not a good one. And it had its drawbacks. Doubtless the reader remembers of the story of the railroad superintendent who was boasting to a friend of the efficiency of the organization he had built up.

Pointing to a wheel tapper, he said, "That man has that job because of long faithfulness and experience." "Why does he tap the wheels?" asked the friend. The superintendent called the man over. "How long have you been with the road?" he asked. "Twenty years." "How long have you been tapping wheels?" "Eighteen years." "See," the superintendent said to his friend, "that's the kind of man we keep on an important job." Said the friend to the man: "Tell me why you tap the wheels." The workman looked puzzled. "Darned if I know," he said.

To this man, whose type is nonexistent now in railroad operation, his job was Ids job, and there was no use trying to find out why he did it. He worked in the fog with which all uneducated and untrained people are surrounded, making no effort to get out of it. Unless we know as far as possible the whys and wherefores of our work, we may be a trifle more useful than the ignorant wheel tapper, but not much more so. Education and training alone dispel the fogs that surround us, or at least make them less dense, so it is easier to see at a distance than it once was. But without education and training we are as helpless as a mariner would be without a sextant or a compass, or a wheel tapper, who if he found an unsound car wheel would proceed calmly to tap the next wheel, and allow the train to pull out of the station in peril of a break that might cost the lives of many passengers.

Living costs are down 25 per says Washington. Evidently the Administration has never ordered a pot of coffee and some buttered toast on a dining car. poke-collared type with the middle-haired-part of the day, engrossed tete-tete with a charming girl. The humorists, still holding their bags, waited patiently for minutes. Finally Nye in his strangely querulous whine said: "Excuse me, young sir, but your face reminds me oddly of Clay." The flattered youth cooed: "You mean our great Henry Clay?" Nye shook his head and drawled indifferently: "No.

Just clay." pvUT in my crotch of an Ohio creek a prize story concerned the ancient enmity between the old war horse Senator Foraker and William J. Bryan. Bryan was hailed as The Boy Orator of the Platte. Foraker liked the title. "The Platte River, I understand, is two inches deep at its source and five miles wide at its mouth," ha said.

When Uncle Joe Cannon was making his first political race, he began his opening speech with: "They could go farther and do worse and they probably will da both." Running along like an antiquated old fool this way suggests the LISTEN, WORLD! By ELSIE ROBINSON Copyright 1032, by Kln Features Syndicate, Inc. longer tremble before the anger of a God who decrees that millions shall die by the plague. We knew that such notions were born of fear and ignorance. But we still fear the ghost in man. We still tremble before the shadow that lies across the tomb.

Suppose we dared to imagine that man is not a ghost but an immortal, progressing spirit, no more mysterious or terrible when he operates without a body than when he operates within one? Suppose we dared to imgaine that death is just another one of those changes with which life is filled; that the grave is just another one of those stations that life builds by the road. Suppose we dared to imagine that life went on, normally, naturally, regardless of vicissitudes or changes. Do you suppose we would find that it did? WHAT NEXT? Flexible railroad ties are being used in Germany. Pennsylvania is exoerimentine with clover growths as a means of checking forest tire outbreaks. Germans have developed a fire- stooped figure in the kidney pill ads.

As a matter of fact. I have to rush back to New Haven now so I won't miss chapel in the morning. fighting truck that can cross plowed fields and railroad tracks and ford small streams. certain men, braver than their follows, insisted on questioning, insisted on imagining that there must be a normal solution for mysteries, insisted on daring to find the solution and found it! They found It because they dared to imagine that it could be found. So one by one the grim taboos have gone down.

We no longer think that man's mysterious pains and handicaps-are the "will of God." We now believe that it is God's will that man should know everything, have every thing, which can make his life more free and abundant. We have broken through our jungle. We have conquered time and space with the radio, the airplane, the telephone, the wireless. Our whole modern world operates by electricity, although we still do not understand its nature. We avoid the pestilence by killing rats, preventing mosquitoes.

And mothers, who once suffered agony in child-birth because such was held to be "the curse of Eve," now take ether. "Whatia man can imagine he can and God doesn't strike him ilind for doing it. Only the death taboo still holds us in its grip. The grave, alone, alks the scientific mind. We are no longer afraid of the "ghostB" in the storm cloud.

We no THE LAST TABOO I wonder if death would dismay us as much if we didn't think of it as a religious process something that only God can solve. Easy enough, of course, to see how that idea began. Everything was a mystery to primitive man. Lightning, thunder, earthquake, pestilence all these were black magic. Even birth was a mystery.

Aborigines still do not realize that babies are the result of human mating. They believe they are the work of jungle spirits who cast a spell upon unprotected women. Death was the greatest mystery of all. No one could explain it; not even the medicine men. But the medicine men, holding savages in control by numbo-jumbo, were much too smart to confess that there was anything that they could not explain; so they put death, along with the other mysteries, beyond the need of They made all mysteries "taboo," declaring that it was sacrilege, punishable by torture, to pry into such matters.

So death came under the control of tho medicine-men became a purely religious matter, not to be investigated by the secular mind. But no taboo or torture was ever invented that could permanently bind the will and imagination of man. So FOR FARM ILLS HPHE agricultural depression has confronted the farmer with a situation in which his own intelligence must be his chief reliance, says Dr. R. L.

Adams, professor of farm management at the University of California. Addressing the California Farm Bureau Federation recently, Doctor Adams pointed out that farmers generally are working harder nowadays, and doing more of their own work, than has been the case in years; and he added: "Now, more than ever before, it is imperative that more brains be mixed with muscle in the art and business of farming. In good times, one part of brains and eleven parts of muscle will do the trick. In times such as these, eleven parts of brains and one part of muscle will offer a better prescription for the ills of agriculture." REAL BONER Papers, magazines and even books are filled with a lot of so-called schoolroom boners, but here is a bona fide one with a name and address. In answer to the question, "What is pasteurijed milk?" young Dana Drinnon of Cumberland Gap, answered: "Pasteurized milk is milk that has been heated to take the taste of the pasture out of it." -The Pathfinder.

England's newest plane can climb ODD, ISN'T IT? No species of lily has its natural habitat south of the equator. Not one person's name in the Bible begins with W. Iowa Is the only state in the Union between the Mississippi and Missduri rivers. Los Angeles has an ordinance' prohibiting, shooting of rabbit3 from treet-car platforms. i Juan reputed the richest man in Spain, cannot write his name.

William Borah, chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, has never been abroad. The 20,000 feet in nine minutes and cau level off more than four miles, a A tank motor truck has been built THE REMORSEFUL GOSSIP "Sometimes I wonder whether there is any truth in the old saying, 'Be good and you will be happy." "What's the trouble!" "I made up my mind the other day that I would be truthful and obliging. I answered every question anybody asked me." 'And told the exact truth?" "Yes. And none of the people I told the truth about now don't speak to me." Exchange. in England that can carry a load of 100 tons and is so long that an assistant at the rear communicates with driver by phone.

Coeds at the University of Missouri have agreed not to let their escorts spend more than five cents on them individually at soda fountains. PROTECTING CHILDREN The machine age has made inevitable the ratification of a child labor amendment. Woman's Home Companion. Ant MINDED WOMEN Out of every 100 licensed airplane pilots in America, four are women. Collier's Weekly.

THOSE DESPISED CITIES 4a incr onnmaltf that rnoro A Montana farmer recently plowed thirty-acre field. oneratinir the ma and more of us live in cities, yet we chine from a distance by radio. The Pathfinder. as a JNauon aespise ana aistrusi them. Woman's Companion.

International Feature Service, inc. McMANLS copyright. 1932, Preparedness, yes. But a club 13 as. good as a gun if everybody else is content with a club.

Some coaches picked teams they could lick and others are looking for new jobs. Statesmen are too scared to do anything, but, alas! they got that way ten years too late. Perhaps America should save the world, but can't she do it just as well after curing herself Perhaps husbands stray be-cause women don't seem sincere the 864th time they say: "How AH-MR-JlGG-51. AM 1 1 1 GREAT HAVEMS'. "II i Tl I I 1 i VULGAR OMR'aOM I LORD HUFFER-I MET JlGG5 MOKtMG 1 Hf' THROV WHERF INI THF VOUATM-l-C- ALLOTS THAT HORRID r-Zr I'VE BEEN OM THE, I PlPE.

OF HIS- I THAT PIPE OUT OF Sfi 1 WVTER FOR CT -a I tuc ThrqW PiPE? i- hT-DAYSj ooMTTELLMe I W1NPW Y1 I I 0 1932, Kin Frnfuro Svndic Inc. (ire al Britain rights rtietd. i (t wonaertui you are!" Civilized nations are the ones that jail individuals for doing things the nations do. Farm stills may suggest that the country is goin to the devil or that the devil is going to the country. The sins of the fathers are also visited on the children in the form of taxes.

Americanism: Attending college to acquire a thirst for learning; neer thereafter reading anything more serious than the sport page. 1 fi.