The Kokomo Tribune from Kokomo, Indiana • Page 14

KOKOMO TRIBUNE ADVICE THURSDAY, FEB. 15,1996 B7 Knowing what to say is not always easy 111 man's wife should be in charge of conversation Dear Abby: "Illinois Reader," who cares for her bedridden husband, requested that friends who rilh into her at the grocery store or beauty shop not ask her about her husband, but instead talk about other, lighter topics. It's often hard for friends and acquaintances to know just what to say in situations like this. Sometimes people are hurt when friends DON'T inquire about an ailing loved one. My suggestion to her is to give a brief, polite reply about her husband and then turn the conversation around and ask how the other person's children are doing.

Mention she'd like to rent a movie, and ask if they've seen any good ones lately. Most people welcome the chance to talk about something more positive, and this lets them know that it's OK. OHIO READER Dear Ohio Reader: Your suggestions can make even the briefest encounter a moment of respite for those who need it most. Thank you for sharing them. I received many compassionate letters from readers offering to share their tips for coping with the stress of caring for invalids at home.

Read on: Dear Abby: I was moved when I read the letter from "Illinois Reader." That letter could have been written by me. In 1977, my husband was diagnosed with an incurable, degenerative illness. By 1986, he was wheelchair-bound. I was his sole caregiver, and in 1989 when my husband could no longer be left alone, I had to retire in order to care for him. When I turned SO, I realized I was only existing, not living.

People no longer recognized me unless I was behind my husband's wheelchair. I was angry at my life, my church and my husband's family. I finally sought the counseling my daughters had been urging me to get. I want "Illinois" to know that help is available. Caregivers deserve a life as much as the sick person for whom they are caring.

I had become a widow with a living husband. A widow receives emotional support, and that's exactly what I needed. Today I am the manager of my husband's illness, but no longer a victim of it. He is still at home (now on feeding tubes), but I have help nurses and aides and he will remain at home. However, too, have to live while he is alive and not wait until he is gone because now is the time for the living, and now is all I have.

ELKE MCALEXANDER, THOUSAND OAKS, CALIF. Dear Abby: May I address this to the "Bride-to-Be" whose father had a "terrible-looking" mouth? (He was missing several teeth in front; some had rotted away, leaving only stubby roots, etc.) I know this is an exciting time for you and you want your wedding to be perfect, but please be thankful that your father will be present at your wedding. I lost my dad when I was 19. Eleven years later, I married the love of my life. How I wish my father could have been there.

However, my mother participated in my wedding. Like your father, Mom had dental problems. She had had all her teeth removed and was fitted with dentures, which she never wore more than 10 minutes because they were very uncomfortable. I asked Mom to please wear her dentures on my wedding day. She wore them for a little while, then said she couldn't stand the "darned things," so she went to the ladies room, removed the dentures and put them in her purse.

Now I realize that whether she wore her dentures or not was very unimportant, A PROUD BRIDE Dear Proud Bride: Your parents obviously raised you with a healthy sense of values. I wish you every happiness. Good advice for everyone teens to seniors is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business. sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, Post Office Box 447, Mount Morris, 111. 610540447.

(Postage is included.) There's nothing funny about disfiguring fungus There are two new prescriptions to help fight it Dear Dr. Gott: I'm afflicted with toenail and fingernail fungus. Many remedies have been suggested, the latest of which is Diflucan. Is there a solution to this terrible disfiguring affliction? Dear Reader: Fungus infection of the nails, although an unsightly nuisance, does not affect health. Nonetheless, most people with the affliction would prefer to get rid of it.

There are two new prescription drugs for this purpose. Diflucan pills are most often administered for a type of yeast infection called Candida, although they can be used for nail fungus as well. In my opinion, a more appropriate choice would be Sporanox, 200 milligrams taken daily for three months. Ask your doctor about this new drug that is marketed specifically for toenail fungus. Dear Dr.

Gotfc I've been diagnosed with a torn rotator cuff, for which surgery is recommended. Is there an alternate method to correct this problem? Dear Reader: The rotator cuff is a series of supporting tissues that DR. PETER GOTT MEDICAL COLUMNIST Fungus infection of the nails, although an unsightly nuisance, does not affect health. help hold the shoulder in place. Damage to or tearing of the cuff can result, from injury, causing pain on shoulder motion and even- tually if not.

corrected a "frozen" shoulder with decreased mobility and weakness. The condition is diagnosed with MRI scanning. Small tears in the rotator cuff will usually heal over time, especially if the patient embarks on an aggressive program of physical therapy, under the guidance of an orthopedic surgeon or a physiatrist (a specialist in rehab medicine). In most instances, however, doctors prefer to operate because such surgery repairs the cuff, limits disability and leads to faster recovery than rehab alone. You should follow the advice given by your orthopedic surgeon.

If your tear is significant, an operation may be your best option. Should you decide to have surgery performed, I am sending you a free copy of my Health Report "An Informed Approach to Surgery-" Other readers who would like a copy should send $2 plus a long, self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 2017, Murray Hill Station, New York, NY 10156. Be sure to mention the title. Despite many close shaves, Edwards could still use a razor Film "The Grasshopper' hasn't made the jump over to video Q.

I'm taking up a collection to buy Anthony Edwards a razor. He was clean shaven on "Northern Exposure," but he is always unshaven on "ER." Any reason? Mrs. R.W.R., Naples, Fla. A. He had a lot of close shaves on "Northern Exposure." But, seriously, folks, he feels having a day or two of beard helps his characterization.

Q. Years ago late '60s, early 70s my husband and I saw a movie I believe was titled "The Grasshopper," with Jacqueline Bisset and ex-football great Jim Brown. Is it on video? B.D., Terre Haute, Ind. A. You have the title correct but, no, no video.

Q. I need you to settle a dinner bet between my mom and me. She says Alan Autry is related to Gene Autry. Who pays for dinner? G.G. and D.C., Waterloo, Iowa A.

Mom pays. Two unrelated Autrys. Q. Am I nuts or what? A few years ago, I saw a film, "Stagecoach," but not with John Wayne, with Alex Cord as Ringo. I can find SYNDICATED COLUMNIST no record of this film anywhere.

Was there or wasn't there such a movie? O.R., Copperas Cove, Texas A. Not nuts at all. That was a '66 remake of the classic '39 film. It was good, but not as good as the original. Q.

I am a third-generation Al Jolson fan, and I would like to know how old was he when he died and what year was that? B.S., Chelmsford, Mass. A. Jolson passed away in 1950, when he was 64. Q. My family thinks I'm crazy, but I remember the hit TV show "MASH" being on for an entire hour in its prime.

Is this correct, or am I just imagining gaps in the story lines in the half-hour reruns? D.P., Ardmore, Okla. A. The latter. "MASH" was always a 30-minute production, but possibly two half-hours were strung together in reruns somewhere. Q.

Back in the early 70s, I saw "Fall of the House of Usher," with Vincent Price. It was in black and white. Recently, I rented the video. It was in color and didn't star Vincent Price. Am I losing my memory or was there a remake of that movie? B.H., Richmond, Va.

A. There have actually been three versions of that classic story. First, in '66, came "House of Usher," with Vincent Price. Then in '82, "The Fall of the House of Usher," with Martin Landau. Finally, in '88, another "House of Usher," with Oliver Reed.

If you want to see any of them again, all three are available on video. (Send your questions to; Ask Dick Kleiner, do Newspaper Enterprise Association, 200 Madison New York, N.Y. 10016. Due to the volume of mail, personal replies cannot be provided.) US FOR LUNCH MONDAY thru FRIDAY 1 1 AM to 2 PM AGAIN FOR DINNER! MONDAY thru THURSDAY 5 PM to 1 1 PM FRIDAY and SATURDAY 5 PM to 1AM LIVE ENTERTAINMENT SAT. FEB 17 CHAMELEON with CHRIS BLAUVELT RESTAURANT BAR RESERVATIONS 457-222O 1 1 5 WEST SYCAMORE UPTOWN KOKOMO Try Tribune Want Ads KOKOMO TRIBUNE'S FIRST DOGS CATS HORSES BIRDS HAMSTER'S SNAKES COWS PIGS FISH GOATS SKUNKS GERBILS MICE Join "Peaches" In February as we reund up all yeur pels and publish them in Pel Gazette '96! Coming In February OnTffursday, February 29, 1996, The KOKOMO TRIBUNE will publish featuring photos and information submitted of pets.

Each pet will be featured in a space. The cost for each space is $10 (ten dollars) made payable to the KOKOMO TRIBUNE at time of submission. To be included in Pet Gazette '96 please submit the pets photo along with the information form and $10 (ten dollars) by Friday, February 16, 1996 Publication Dates Friday, February 29, 1996 Pet Gazette '96 Name Of Pet To Be Featured: Name Of Pet Of Residence: Be Sure To Include Pets Photo tin Mail or bring to: KOKOMO TRIBUNE Attn: Retail Advertising 300 N. Union Street MUST be received by February 16, 1996 Kokomo IN 46901 BY.