Tucson Daily Citizen from Tucson, Arizona • Page 15

Don Schellie Remember this one? There was a gentleman walking down the street with a banana in his ear. Several passersby told him he had a banana in his ear, but he merely smiled and walked on. Finally a more curious fellow stopped him and said, "Did you know you have a banana in your ear?" "Can't hear you," he replied. "I've got a banana in my ear." WELL, NOW. Does that bring back nauseous memories of last summer's dreadful Worst Joke of the Summer Contest? It was the winner in the frightful competition, submitted by somebody called W.

and was surely the awfulest of the awful. Then there was this near-winner, sent in by Mrs. Harry Heinbockle, of 3560 E. Bellevue who has chuckled over the gem for lo, these 20 years: IT SEEMS THIS FELLOW took his date to dinner. The waiter brought them Italian spaghetti.

The girl picked it up and began rubbing It in her hair. "Why in the world," asked he in amazement, "are you rubbing that spaghetti in your hair?" she shrieked. "I thought it was mashed potatoes!" (Groan here.) ANYWAY, THESE WERE THE TWO bottom jokes in last summer's Worst contest, and you've got to admit, they're pretty bad. All of which is leading up to the formal announcement of our repulsive Second Annual Worst Joke of the Summer Contest. (Shudder) We may all pause for 30 moments to cuss out reader John Burnham, of the University of Arizona College of Agriculture, who had the gall to start the whole business last year with a suggestion.

In our first annual go-round, winner W. J. received a slightly dog-earred copy of Joe Miller's Joke Book, Fame Popularity, and a slightly soiled reputation. This year we'll have to find a similarly appropriate prize for the lucky, lucky winner. And, like last year, we will round up a panel of the grumpiest, nastiest, crankiest old men in town to do the final RULEWISE: --Entries must be awfully short.

--Also clean. Bear in mind that this is a family newspaper. --Worst Jokes must reach the Citizen office by Saturday, Aug. 15. --Simply address entries to Worst Joke Editor, Tucson Daily Citizen, Tucson, Arizona.

--You many enter as many Worst Jokes you like, but the worstest ones have a better chance of winning. Competition is expected to be keen. --In all likelihood some pretty bad stories will be printed in this dept. from time to time during the contest period, in order to inspire readers. Bear with going to be a long, hot summer.

SO ENTER TODAY, remembering the immortal words of the jolly sausage maker: "Our wurst is the best." Heavens. THURSDAY, JULY 2, 1964 PAGE 15 Action, Please! Bias In Unions Hit Hard Blow By NLRB Ruling --AP Wirephoto If you have a question or a problem to be solved, involving any governmental agency or public matter in the Tucson area, write to Action, Please, care of the Tucson Daily Citizen. Reporters will investigate your queries and answer them in this column. Questions must be submitted in writing, and must contain your full name and street address (which will withheld from publication on request). U.N.

Flag Flies Oct. 24 QUESTION Some months ago, a United Nations flag was presented to the City of Tucson by the Tucson chapter of American Association for the United Nations. Could you please tell me whether this flag Is displayed somewhere, and, if it is, where could one see it? Frieda I. Dansberger, 2102 E. 33rd St.

ANSWER This United Nations flag is flown over the city hall on United Nations Day, Oct. 24. The rest of the time it is carefully folded and put safely away in the office of the mayor. If you would care to see it, Mrs. Rae Dellinger, in the mayor's office, says she would be very happy to show it to you.

She is taking good care of it, rest assured. Cleanups Ordered QUESTION When I bought this place in the 200 block of Mohave Street, I knew that some of the yards were junky, but the junk is growing. First, there was an old car. The other day I noticed No. 4 has been added.

There are old sinks and debris, to say nothing of an old water tower that seems to sway in the wind. In another direction, there are vacant old buildings with open doors and broken windows. My neighbor says children play and smoke in them. Can anything be done about any of this? Name withheld by request. ANSWER It can.

Following a bit of formal encouragement by city inspectors, the owner of one property has cleaned up the lot and removed one junked car, the only one found to be in violation. Another property owner has been sent a notice that he must repair, rehabilitate or demolish buildings in violation. He is out of town, but the inspection department will follow through to make sure of compliance. The old water tower has been found to be structurally safe, so it can stay. Stop Signs Are Out QUESTION I would like to know if it is possible to get stop signs at Howard and Elida as in the last few months we have had two or three accidents.

A car coming from the east doesn't slow up and a car coming from the north or south doesn't slow up, so what happens? And who is responsible? Try to stop this before something worse happens. --Einar Jorgensen, 3321 E. Elida St. ANSWER No reported accidents here, so the mishaps certainly couldn't have been very serious. According to traffic engineers, this intersection is like any other in a quiet residential section.

Stop signs are not warranted. They can't be placed at every intersection in the city. As to who is responsible, by law, the driver on the left must yield to the driver on the right. Knees Need Nudge Debbi Shindler, 7, cries as three policemen try to free her from pickets on a neighbor's porch in Seattle. The officers finally freed Debbi's knees by lubricating them with shortening.

Cancer Linked To Heredity In Sloan-Kettering Report NEW YORK Cancer production has been traced to changes in the genetic material of cells, the "blueprints" of heredity, the Sloan-Kettering Institute for Cancer Reaearch announce here yesterday. These conclusions were drawn after several years of study into the complex relationships between enzyme chemistry and cellular growth and reproduction. They have two profound and sweeping implications for present-day cancer research: I--If the cancer cells are produced from normal cells as a result of chemical alterations of the genetic material or chromosomes, then the cause of cancer growths would appear to be chemical, not biological. (This indicates a switch by Sloan-Kettering in research emphasis from viruses to chemical changes as the cause of cancer. Sloan-Kettering has long advocated viruses as the probable cause of cancer.) 2--When chromosomes change within cancer cells, enzymes, the chemicals which carry out biological processes of the cells also are altered.

Biochemists at Sloan-Ketter ing have devised techniques detect these enzyme mutation associated with cancer. Tests still experimental, can be use to determine the levels of thes enzymes in the blood. The potential fruits of thesi experimental identification test soon will lead to the long-await ed blood test for cancer diag nosis. Castroites Slain In Venezuela CARACAS--UPI--Four members of the pro-Castro Armed Forces of National Liberation were killed yesterday in a battle with the national guard in a mountainous area in Miranda State, according to reports reaching hert today. The report also describes a number of studies, each of enor mous value to the entire field of finding chemical agents arrest and prevent cancer production.

An enzyme, fibrinolysin has been effective in stopping the spread of cancer in body. An enzyme, asparaginase, has been shown to destroy certain chemicals necessary for cancer production in experimental animals. Plans are now being made to try this same treatment as a means of arresting cancer growth in humans. Sloan Kettering researchers believe they also have discovered one of the fundamental clues for the further production of chemical agents to arrest cancer. When a certain enzyme, 6-mercaptopurine, was observed to stop the growth of cancer cells and not normal cells, researchers conducted intensive studies of this striking phenomenon.

Their research led to a major biochemical discovery. Cancer cells apparently cannot produce certain enzymes that are essential in the production of the genetic material, the nucleic acids, in the cells. This is due to a metabolic or energy consumption difference between normal and cancerous cells. This discovery, Sloan-Kettering reports, has given biochemists the single most important clue to date in the production of future chemical agents to halt cancer in human beings. Viet Cong Hit Supply Convoy SAIGON --W-- Communist guerrillas knocked out a Vietnamese army supply convoy yesterday on a mountain highway notorious for bloody ambushes in the French Indochina war, killing 29 government troops and wounding 24 others.

The Communist attackers failed in the main objective of stripping the convoy of its cargo of high explosive shells because of factors not available in the Indochina war--helicopters--the defense ministry reported. U.S. HELICOPTERS roared in over the stricken convoy while the Viet Cong was stripping it of weapons. Zooming in on the black clad guerillas with guns blazing, the Americans kept the Viet Cong from carrying off thousands of rounds of heavy artillery shells until reinforcements arrived by road. The Viet Cong took a heavy toll on the 90-man Vietnamese security force that was accompanying the 36-truck from coastal Qui Nhon, 250 miles north of Saigon, to Pleiku, 80 air miles inland in the central highlands.

The ambush by about 200 guerrillas took place near a worn stone marker where a famous French mobile brigade was annihilated by Viet Minh Communist forces early in 1954. THE SEVERE setback came as the defense ministry reported that government forces wound up a mopup operation after killing 104 guerrillas in the same general area. U.S. 'Ghostwriting For Sister, Says Fidel BY NEW CofC CHIEF Civic Center Given Priority By CECIL JAMES Newsom Holesapple, newly elected president of the Tucson Chamber of Commerce, considers building a $3 million convention facility as the No. 1 project for his term of office.

Holesapple, who succeeds Frank E. Drachman told his new board of director yesterday the facility should be so constructed that "it can be expanded in the future Am I think we can get the suppor to finish it in the 1964-65 The $3 million figure men tioned by Holesapple represents a different approach to the con HAVANA--W--Prime Minister Fidel Castro, commenting for the first time on the defection of his sister Juanita, charged today that her bitter denunciation of his regime was "written in the United States Embassy in Mexico City." A U. S. Embassy spokesman in Mexico City rejected Castro's accusation. "The embassy had nothing whatsoever to do with Miss Castro's statement.

All we know about it is what we read in the newspapers," the spokesman said. Castro said Juanita's act was "personally very bitter. But I understand that this is the price of being a revolutionary." He then referred to the U.S. Civil War, when he said many families, including that of President Abraham Lincoln, were divided. "Many of Lincoln's close relatives fought beside the Southern, slaving armies," Castro declared.

Juanita, 31, slipped out of Cuba and Monday night appeared on a Mexico City television program, during which she read a six-page statement explaining her defection. Miss Castro said her brother betrayed his revolution and that Cuba had become an "enormous prison surrounded by water." Castro appeared last night at a Dominion Day reception at the Canadian Embassy in Havana. Oswald's Voice On Tape To Be Broadcast Here The voice of Lee Harvey Oswald, alleged assassin of President John F. Kennedy, can be heard on a tape recording of a debate which will be broadcast at 5 p.m. tomorrow by Radio KiLJC.

The tape, obtained by the Tucson Daily Citizen from the Richmond (Va.) News Leader, was made last August a few months before President Kennedy was shot to death Oswald himself was killed in the Dallas jail by Jack Ruby. It highlights a program broadcast by the News Leader's radio station, WRNL, and quotes Oswald as expressing great dissatisfaction with U.S. policy concerning Cuba and Fidel Castro. The debate is between Oswald and representatives of a group called the Cuban Student Revolutionary Directorate, one of the oldest and most important exile groups in this country. At one point during the debate, Castro is quoted as having referred to President Kennedy as a "ruffian." To which Oswald replied that he would not refer to the late president in quite those words.

Oswald also admitted during the debate that he was the paid secretary of the New Orleans chapter of the Fair Play for Cuba Committee and the only admitted member of the chapter there. The committee's aim, he maintained, was "very clear and in keeping with the best ideals of American democracy." And he further stated, despite proof to the contrary, that Castro and Cuba are not Communist and not subordinate to the U.S.S.R. The tape lasts about 40 minutes and includes commentary. vention center project. Previous ly, the chamber had been talk ing of an outlay exceeding $7 million.

Holesapple, vice president Tucson Realty Trust said the No. 2 item on his list is a new federal building for Tucson. He added that he has made several trips to Denver to discuss the project with the General Services Administration "and on May 6 a final report on the findings were sent to Washington, D. Holesapple said the CofC should try to get an appropriation for the building next January. The new president said nego tiations are in progress to acquire the entire block which houses the Santa Rita Hole' and other business.

The block covering 103,000 square feet, is bounded on the north by East Broadway; on the east by South 6th Avenue; by E. 12th St. on the south; and So. Scott Avenue on the west. Holesapple noted that Tucson is the only city in the United States with a population of more than 200,000 which hasn't had a new federal building since World War II.

He added that 175 to 200 federal employes are being kept out of Tucson because of the present inadequate facilities. An attorney and civic leader for many years, Holesapple joined Tucson Realty in 1936 and 19 years later was promoted to its vice presidency. Other officers elected at the annual board meeting at the chamber quarters were Donald S. Clark a vice president of Tucson Federal Savings Loan Association, first vice president; Fred Vance, presi- Gaints Photo Newsom Holesapple Reds Reject Cease-Fire Bid In Laos TOKYO Wi The pro- Pathet Lao rejected a call by five Western countries or an immediate cease-fire in Laos and withdrawal of the 3 athet Lao from recently won military positions, the New China news agency reported to- lay. It quoted the Pathet Lao as aying the call made in Vietiane dent and general manager of KHOS radio, second vice president; and Harold Olsen, a vice president of Southern Arizona Bank Trust treasurer.

A. E. Randall was re-elected executive director and attorney Richard Bilby was named legal counsel. Monday at the end of month- ong consultations on Laos was completely null and void." The appeal was issued by the Jnited Britain and three ther pro-Western nations fol- owing the consultations by six cuntries signatory to the 1962 jeneva accords on Laos. The iree other countries were Canada, Thailand and South Viet Nam.

India, which took part in the consultations, declined to sign the appeal for reasons of diplomatic protocol. Earlier, Pathet Lao forces claimed the downing of two U.S. built T28 planes over central Laos Tuesday. The pilots were reoorted captured. Called Violation Of Law WASHINGTON UPI -The National Labor Relations Board shattered precedent today by ruling that a union practicing racial discrimination is guilty of unfair labor practices under federal law.

The board, applying one of its strongest sanctions, revoked the certification of the offending union and ordered it to sign an anti-discrimination pledge governing future behavior. This landmark ruling came In a case involving Hughes Tool plant at Houston, and Locals 1 and 2 of the Independent Metal Workers Union. The union is not affiliated with the AFL-CIO. IF UPHELD by the courts in the expected appeal, the decision could open the door to filing with the NLRB of many more complaints of racial discrimination by unions. One official said the agency might become a "little FEPC." The new civil rights bill provides for the establishment of a Fair Employment Practices Commission (FEPC).

Today's action strips the metal workers union of its right to bargain for Hughes employes. The NLRB said another union could petition for recognition as bargaining agent. The NLRB unanimously ruled that the all-white Local 1 was guilty of violating the National Labor Relations Act by not processing a grievance filed by Ivory Davis, a Negro worker and member of ail-Negro Local -AP wirephoto A Not So Hot Trick Four boys on a rope can be a good trick, especially if the finale is a cool dunking. These New York youngsters beat the 99-degree heat yesterday with a rope hung from a bridge over the Harlem River. A fifth boy rides the show out in an innertube.

USED BRUSH Headmaster Fined In Spanking Girls, 18 TRURO, England UPI A 60-year-old headmaster was fined $140 today for spanking two 18-year-old girl students with a clothes brush. The headmaster was John Lindsay Guise of Helston School in Cornwall. The students were coeds Gilliam Mary Wells and Mary Angela Hale. Guise and Mrs. Marjorie Smith, 58, senior headmaster at the school, p'eaded guilty to assaulting the two girls by spanking them last April 27.

Mrs. Smith was fined $84 and ordered to pay $29.40 in court costs. Guise also had to pay $44.10 in court costs. Prosecutor J. Woods told the court the trouble started after the two girls and three boys rehearsed scenes from a Shakespeare play.

The girls paired off with two of the boys and spent half an hour kissing and cuddling. The boy who was left out snitched to the headmaster. Guise called Miss Wells to his study and spanked her behind closed doors. The prosecutor told the court he did not suggest anything indecent in what happened, but said a doctor who later examined the girl found she had been severely bruised on the buttocks. Woods said Miss Hale then was called to the study and spanked, although she objected to it being administered by the headmaster.

However, the prosecutor said, both Guise and Mrs. Smith administered this spanking. "I would cor.sider myself extremely culpable if we did not do everything in our power to prevent behavior of a promiscuous sort," Guise said. THE CONTRACT with the employer provided for job segregation and greater job opportunities for white workers, including an apprenticeship program from which Negroes were excluded. Davis took his complaint to the NLRB after the white local refused to press his grievance over being eliminated from a list of Hughes em- ployes who had applied for apprentice training.

The five-member board was united in the decision to cancel the certification, opening the union to "raids" by other labor organizations. The board split, 3-2, however, on how far it should go in dealing with complaints based on charges of racial discrimination in employment. THE MAJORITY came up with a sweeping ruling: Whenever a union causes discrimination based on racial lines it has committed an unfair labor practice. The majority said this position was based on a Supreme Court ruling that a union must represent fairly and without racial discrimination all em- ployes in a bargaining unit for which it is legal representative. A minority opinion declared that Congress never intended the nation's basic labor law to real with racial discrimination as such.

They said, however, the board could take cases when the discrimination was based on union membership. Tucsoh Tonight, Tomorrow Unless otherwise noted all meetings listed in this column are open to the public without charge. TONIGHT 8 P.M.--Outdoor concert, Amphitheater Summer Concert Band. On Amphitheater High School campus. 8:30 P.M.--University Theater presents "Medea." Speedway Blvd.

at Olive Road. (Through Saturday.) Charge for admission. toorts section for.